i watched presidential debate for extra credit. first political thing ive ever watched. and i was very amused. sucks to be bush. he had nothing to defend himself. he could only say a bunch of random numbers. and his facial expression was funny because of his losing. then kerry just murdered him. but kerry was lucky because his mistakes aren't as public as bush's. oh well. i hate politics. i think everyone sucks. no one will ever satisfy everyone. unless its an anarchist nation. that would be wonderful. but scary. and dangerous. i think we lose either way.

it seems like the only thing people ever talk about now are school and/or working out. i dont like any of them. i think ill drop out of school. and not work out. and grow fat. and then do nothing. ill be a failure. but ill be happy because i wont do any of those things i dont like. but then later on, ill be sad because while everyone is making billions of dollars, ill be dying of fat. and poor. oh well.

apparently, the army has gone emo. today some band from the army played at school and they just played emo songs. yellowcard, maroon 5, greenday, new found glory, story of the year, switchfoot. the list goes on and on. so i wonder why they let these emo people go into the army? i saw fahrenheit 9/11 and it showed a scene with army people in iraq listening to some death metal from like ozzfest or something. but apparently the army really listens to emo music and cries and kills themselves because they are sent to iraq. so silly. some kind of army. the army just screws around and plays music. thats where all the tax money goes. lovely.

i am crazy. i talk to my homework. especially when i dont get the correct answer or when the homework takes too long. maybe one day the homework will respond to me. and ill know when ive really gone crazy.

My mind is like a void. Not much on my mind to speak of. but if my mind was a void. then i wouldn't have been able to write that. so therefore, my mind isn't a void. i wonder if empty space could be measured. could you measure the volume of empty space? hm. 10 cubic feet of empty space? but if its empty space, theres nothing to measure. unless there is. its a new dimension! the empty space dimension. for every space that exists. there exists measurable empty space. bah. whatever.

i dont understand why people hate people that set the curve. sure, the grades of everyone else is lowered. but someone has to set the curve. and that person's goal is to get a good grade like everyone else. so why hate them? they just do a better job in school. killing them doesn't improve scores, only the grade. but everyone only wants a grade.

lil jootiebootie: i ate this bread thing
lil jootiebootie: for dinner
lil jootiebootie: and like
lil jootiebootie: i was gonna tell my mom im done
lil jootiebootie: but it came out as im dumb
lil jootiebootie: -____________-

i hate libraries that are too big. it makes me very confused. i dont know what to do. compressing things like winzip confuse me. how does it work!? somehow winzip can make things smaller than they really are. then the small file can be sent around. but if its small, how can someone make it large again. what happens to the file? omg. i am so confused. it doesn't make sense. if they could do this, why not do it for all the files!? then large terabyte harddrives wont be necessary. especially movie editing and their 1 gig/12 minute things. whatever. i dont know. i dont edit video much.

in response to my broken calc book cover. i had to draw another one. i call it tormented by math

so, in art class. i finished my drawing up to the point that teacher wanted me to, so i had a free period. then this mexican kid that hasn't been to class for like 2 weeks comes in and is confused on what to do. this kid was probably just cutting class and doing other stuff. so teacher told me to explain to him. and i felt weird talking to this gang boy. (this is same boy that asked to join my gang). and then after that, he said thanks. so now. im afraid that hes going to think im part of his gang. oh well.

if one thinks medicine is a placebo, will the medicine still work? this is very confusing because placeboes usually work. so if a person thinks it is a placebo, it will still work. but placebos dont work when a person knows thats what it is. but its medicine. so it should heal. or will the body say its not real and not do anything. the joys of medicine.

i cant escape derivatives!!! they are everywhere. next time i see an oil spill of a perfect circle, i can find the area that it is increasing in at any time! then i can calculate falling ladders against the wall and moving lights and turning stuff. oh my. derivatives are so joyful. i cant escape them. they are everywhere in the world. i can apply them everywhere!

its so hard to read battle royale. there are too many student names. a bunch of kids die in the beginning of the book, but then later on, other kids always talk about how they loved those kids that died. and i dont remember whatever happened to those kids. so i have to look up on battleroyaleonline.com. its annnoying. and since its all japanese names its so hard to look up. but its still a lovely book. but theres typos.

i dont like how english class is like history class right now. since we are going to read 'the crucible', my english teacher decided to make a research project about the salem witch trials and mccarthyism. oh no. its just like history. so i have like 2 classes of history. its horrible. i cant escape history. and then a while ago in calc, the teacher gave us some history on newton and leibniz. too much history. i dont like history.

it seems that whenever anything is anticipated, it sucks. for example. the first korn cd i ever waited for was untouchables. and it sucked a lot. now, i am waiting for rammstein's 'reise reise' cd and it seems to suck. based on the two singles that have been released. also, megaherz's new lineup sucks. and i was anticipating it to be as great as the original megaherz. but no. it sucks. everything sucks. so that means that i shouldn't anticipate the new fra-foa dvd. or the 'last quarter' movie. hm. but i never anticipated junior year. but it still sucks. maybe everything just sucks. except for science. because science never sucks. it only blows out. it never sucks anything in. at least thats what roske's poster thing says.

a picture i drew in drawing art class yesterday

its of mac os x. since it was on the computer. and i already did what was assigned. yea. thats about it.

azN xrE taRD BOI: IF I CAN SURVIVE GLOOMY SUNDAY, I CAN SURVIVE ANYTHING!
haha lim: lol
haha lim: i dun think u've survivced
haha lim: it's jus that it hasn't caught up w/ u yet
azN xrE taRD BOI: ha
haha lim: one day u'll be like wlalking down the street saying o yeah gloomy sunday wut a bunch of bs
haha lim: and then bam! OUT OF NOWHERE A PLANE HITS YOU
haha lim: who's laughing now

i dont get it. why!? weird. everything is so weird.
i dont get what i wrote.
its like a chain reaction.
everything doesn't make sense
once one thing doesn't make sense.
everything else after it doesn't make sense.
therefore.
if history doesn't make sense.
everything present doesn't make sense.
such as. what is present.
is it now? or now?
because present cant be really seen or whatever.
because future will always be future.
and past will always be past.
and present will always be changing.
it doesn't make sense.

oh danny b0i: brb
azN xrE taRD BOI: k
oh danny b0i: Gonna put some pants on


Ikembe Otobamo: Dear Sir
Ikembe Otobamo: Recently, I have been dismissed by Cisco Systems, whom I have been working for for the past six months
Ikembe Otobamo: As such, I am no longer allowed to reside within the United States
Ikembe Otobamo: However, during the time I worked for Cisco, I have amassed large amounts of money via stock options
Ikembe Otobamo: Since I am not in the United States, this money is frozen, and I cannot access it
Ikembe Otobamo: It would be helpful if you could help me hold this money for the time being until I could establish myself in my new home
Ikembe Otobamo: Sincerely,
Ikembe Otobamo: Ikembe Otobamo (Nigeria)
azN xrE taRD BOI: thats nice
Ikembe Otobamo: I will give you twenty percent of my stock options as thanks, and unlimited copies of Ubuntu Linux as a token of my gratitude
azN xrE taRD BOI: why would you be dismissed from cisco?
Ikembe Otobamo: It would appear as if they don't like me
azN xrE taRD BOI: then why cant you live in the US?
Ikembe Otobamo: I was only allowed to stay due to work
Ikembe Otobamo: i.e. work visa
azN xrE taRD BOI: oh. okay
azN xrE taRD BOI: then why would you talk to me?
Ikembe Otobamo: It would be helpful if you could store this money in a U.S. bank account
azN xrE taRD BOI: you dont even know who i am
Ikembe Otobamo: I don't, but I'm willing to push my luck
Ikembe Otobamo: After all, no one wants to throw away millions of dollars (USD) in stock options
azN xrE taRD BOI: hey chris.
Ikembe Otobamo: My name is Ikembe Otobamo, and I have recently fled to Nigeria
azN xrE taRD BOI: yes yes.
Ikembe Otobamo: I'm glad you believe me. Now hand over that bank account.
Ikembe Otobamo: I'll give you 25% of the money if you do!
azN xrE taRD BOI: under one condition.
Ikembe Otobamo: I am willing to explore my options.
azN xrE taRD BOI: marry me and then you can have my bank account.
Ikembe Otobamo: In that case, you may have 50%
azN xrE taRD BOI: whatever
Ikembe Otobamo: 60%?
azN xrE taRD BOI: how about 100%.
Ikembe Otobamo: Minus 40%
azN xrE taRD BOI: multiplied 2 add 20%
azN xrE taRD BOI: howd u find me then?
Ikembe Otobamo: I've stolen data collected by Cisco
azN xrE taRD BOI: and why would they have data on me?
Ikembe Otobamo: They are actually a secret branch of the CIA
Ikembe Otobamo: I'm afraid I can't speak much more
azN xrE taRD BOI: funny.
azN xrE taRD BOI: i work for the CIA.
Ikembe Otobamo: My location might belakjfd; nwoerp i- 30iwep AHhh fhelpajlfsd;aj f'lew12312
azN xrE taRD BOI: of course.
azN xrE taRD BOI: thats a bunch of random crap
azN xrE taRD BOI: im codecracker for CIA
azN xrE taRD BOI: and i know what a code is
azN xrE taRD BOI: ur retarded
azN xrE taRD BOI: stop randomly pressing keys on ur keyboard
Ikembe Otobamo: Don't worry, we've taken care of that man.
Ikembe Otobamo: He's dead
azN xrE taRD BOI: uh
azN xrE taRD BOI: okay
Ikembe Otobamo: those keys were from his face slamming into the keyboard after a headshot
Ikembe Otobamo: the most effective headshot is to the eyes
Ikembe Otobamo: any other kind of shot might leave the person alive
azN xrE taRD BOI: thats nice

in english, we are supposed to keep these daily journal writes. (shutup. its normal english). so one day the prompt was to describe our outside reading book. (a book you read outside of class). since i wasn't reading anything, i just said i was reading battle royale. i said in my half page that i was supposed to write that i didn't know who the author was. so today, the journals were returned and graded and next to that entry, the teacher wrote "koushun takami". and i was very amazed. either she checked it out online, or she knew. if she knew, then i am kind of scared because then i have a teacher that knows about battle royale. and then next thing i know, everyone in my class might be on a 'class trip' to some remote island. oh no. but that would be kind of interesting seeing everyone in my english class kill each other. but then i would die also. oh well.

there's not much really to update. everyday is the same. i guess i am updating because i want the world to know that boring lives affect everyone. or something like that. school is not that fun. i dont like history. i dont like math. i dont like english. but i like art and chem. what was originally extra credit in art became required. so what about those who were originally planning to get extra credit. maybe i can claim i was going to do it for extra credit. and then get more extra credit in art. its interesting how grades can change so much right now because of 1 point. 1 point could be the difference between an A and a F. of course, thats only if theres 1 or 2 points possible. math is so silly. math answers all the deep questions about numbers. but nothing answers the deep questions of life. but there are no deep questions. deep is a relative term. and i dont know what i am talking about. in blogger, you can choose to "Edit HTML" or "Compose". composing is like a WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) thing. its very lovely. but sometimes it screws up all the html. so i type in edit html. its just plain text. i dont like to bold things. i dont like to italics things. its distracting. just like the color red.

[peef2] OMFG
[Jesus's Helper] ok..so what's Happy hardcore?
[peef2] im gothic
* ba5515t trips him
[beefstew101] hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
[peef2] IM ARCHITECTURE
[beefstew101] i'm gothic too
[Lucifer'sBlender] oh god how do you get rid of a hangover fast?
[vikingwarlord] then your dumb peef

[peef2] im gothic
[Demon Knight] elitist?
[peef2] im dressed in black
[peef2] im so cool
[ba5515t] yes mono, your probably right
[beefstew101] i hav face paint
[Lucifer'sBlender] parecetamols?
[beefstew101] i wear eye shadow
[Jesus's Helper] yes
[beefstew101] i'm more gothic peef
[peef2] bitch
[the_monosyllabic_girl] hey Mr Blender
[peef2] i have afi wrist bands
[beefstew101] hehehe i feel like i'm talking to royalty
[peef2] im going fo kill you.

[vikingwarlord] is everyone in this room just to make fun of goths like me?
[the_monosyllabic_girl] da,nm its eyes
[beefstew101] yea
[vikingwarlord] because it sounds like it
[beefstew101] u loser
[peef2] ur goth?
[peef2] thats cool
[vikingwarlord] no its not cool fucker
[peef2] do you worship death?
[peef2] if its not cool
[peef2] why be one?
[beefstew101] cuz he likes to conform?
[vikingwarlord] no retards, make fun of goths with me, not make fun of goths as in i am a goth
[Jesus's Helper] peel2, I worship Jesus
[funeraldoll] hello
[peef2] thats good
[Jesus's Helper] trolls please leave!
[vikingwarlord] you leave
[peef2] im so goth
[Jesus's Helper] no
[peef2] i worship death
[peef2] but im afraid of it


Aldaris888: i think u guys gotta share ur drugs with me


Admiral Katay: brb
azN xrE taRD BOI: slitting your wrists?

Admiral Katay: back
Admiral Katay: yeh
azN xrE taRD BOI: yeh
Admiral Katay: I had to hold them over the sink
azN xrE taRD BOI: ha
Admiral Katay: because they were starting to clot
Admiral Katay: I hate it when that happens
azN xrE taRD BOI: ha
Admiral Katay: then you dont die, you jsut feel weak
azN xrE taRD BOI: dont drain too much blood
azN xrE taRD BOI: dont want to be too pale
Admiral Katay: o yeh
Admiral Katay: but I need the anarchy A
Admiral Katay: to show up well
Admiral Katay: you know?

i drove. and it is scary. the pedals are sensitive. i think it is too sensitive. i cant multitask. i cant keep a continual speed while keeping straight. i either move into the side of the lane or i slow down. i have bad turns. but hybrid cars are cool. and then. when i was on the highway. i guess i was too slow. some motorcycler drove past and yelled "HEY, LEARN TO DRIVE!". hes a genius. that was exactly what i was doing.

after two days, i finally got the fra-foa music that i have been searching for since the beginning of summer (i think). well, i am somewhat dissapointed because the samples seemed so much better than the real songs. i am sad. but whatever. i seems like most things are like that. its great when its not under one's ownership, but then it sucks when it is. weird. its still the same thing. but it has a different feeling. weird.

and downloading makes me wonder. will the RIAA sue you if you are getting music from other countries? because RIAA is american. so then they shouldn't care about other countries' music. and if you want to download american music, can you just go to canada and download it there? because you aren't in the american jurisdiction thing. hm. oh well.

"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."
- Yogi Berra

if you have a lot of time. here are some segments of a emo chatroom i joined in soulseek while waiting for dir en grey downloads to finish. im peef2 and reinaldo is beefstew101.


[}{] [] crys
[strut your stuff] :(
[strut your stuff] crys?
[}{] [] yes
[}{] [] i am sad
[peef2] dont go uber emo and kill yourself
[strut your stuff] hahaa
[}{] [] real men cry
[strut your stuff] mmhmm
[peef2] no they dont
[}{] [] uber emo
[}{] [] lol
[peef2] real men dont cry
[}{] [] yes they do!!

then after a while..

[peef2] so, do you ever question why are you in an emo room?
[peef2] why is life so sad?
[beefstew101] lack of beer
[}{] [] emo is emotional
[}{] [] sads only one emotion dude
[peef2] why are you emotional?
[beefstew101] i dunno
[beefstew101] i was adopted
[peef2] why can't you be happy?
[beefstew101] dad beat me
[beefstew101] personal demons
[xfuneralXthirstx] u guys cry when u listen to music?
[beefstew101] overcame them tho
[beefstew101] no, why would u
[}{] [] nope
[}{] [] men dont cry
[}{] [] loooo
[}{] [] l
[xfuneralXthirstx] emo boys do
[peef2] why are you emo?
[peef2] does ur dad hate you?
[}{] [] emo boy=me!!
[}{] [] haha
[peef2] are you rejected in life?
[beefstew101] not really
[beefstew101] he was a people person
[beefstew101] just smoked crack a lot
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] HES EMO CAUSE HE CANT GET NO PUSSY
[beefstew101] and then that's when things got bad
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] GAY ASS EMO BITCH
[beefstew101] i dunno
[beefstew101] i've had 2 kids
[peef2] why are you in an emo room then, nuclean tampon?
[}{] [] i have a mom
[}{] [] and a dad
[KooL_RaZoR] ke pasa maricas emo
[peef2] if you hate emo kids so much?
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] CASUE YOUR ALL GAY ASS BITCHES
[beefstew101] i love emo!!!!
[KooL_RaZoR] whats up faggersç
[beefstew101] omg omg omg
[}{] [] ?
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] EMO COCK SUCKERS
[xfuneralXthirstx] lol same here nuclear
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] ALL YOU BITCHES GO TO THE GRIND CORE ROOM
[KooL_RaZoR] whats up dick sucka
[xfuneralXthirstx] carcass
[peef2] i thought funeral thirst just said he loved emo
[peef2] why are you conforming to nuclear tampon?
[}{] [] haha\hes a poser
[}{] [] !!
[HaRdXcOrE] TRHUFGJ
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] JUST SAD HOW YOU GUYS HAVE TO LABEL URSELVES TO BE APART OF SOMETHING LOOKING FOR THAT AUTOMATIC CRAOWD
[beefstew101] stupid conformists
[HaRdXcOrE] LKP´L´KLÑ´J
[beefstew101] no mind of ther own
[xfuneralXthirstx] i said why u guys cry
[peef2] u know if you really want to be nonconformist
[peef2] you shouldn't be here
[peef2] cuz you are just conforming to other emo kids
[}{] [] big wordz...
[}{] [] conforming
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] THIS ROOM IS BEING INFECTED BY THE GRINDCORE UNIT
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] HAHAHA
[KooL_RaZoR] this room sux
[NUCLEARxTAMPON] WILL GIVE EMO SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT
[LittleMissDani] hmmmm
[}{] [] just cos u have no friends..
[xfuneralXthirstx] lol
[HaRdXcOrE] KE PASA KON TOOS LOS MAMONES EMOS


then there was a lot of random spanish. and i couldn't understand.

i dont like it when people upload at very inconsistent rates. i am downloading from this one person that has an upload of anything between 0.3 kbps and 27 kbps. its really annoying because the time changes between 3 hours and 4 minutes. AHH. and that person i am downloading from has 11494 songs from chinese and japanese artists. that is quite insane. too bad that person has a slow and weird modem. oh well.

today, the girl sitting across from me in chem wore a shirt that said "emo sucks" and had a picture of emo glasses that were cracked. it was wonderful. but emo music doesn't always suck. well, i think. there must be some band out there that makes great emo music. but i haven't found it in american music. but japanese have sad stuff. but they dont call themselves emo. that means, maybe the greatest emo music isn't found in bands that call themselves emo. hm.

dir en grey has a lot of flowers in their songs
for example:
"the pressed flower recalls memories in the evening sky"
"I saw the early blossoming cherry blossoms"
"Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand"
"Let's bloom flowers of attempted suicide"

weird isn't it.

flowers are fragrant.
my mind is vagrant.
too bad nothing really rhymes now.

and i thought jrock couldn't get better than dir en grey. i am mistaken. and i thought all good sad emo music could only come from germany. only megaherz or eisbrecher. but no! blood, hyde, dir en grey, gackt. all great sad music. i am crazy. oh well.

its weird how jpop/jrock singers are always female. or they are males that look female. and thats the music i listen to now. delusional boys that think they are girls. its great. the videos are funnier. girls singing in mens voices. gackt's video for "Jyunigatsu no Love song" is hilarious. its like some weird video with new york and has people holding signs of 'god bless america'. BUT HES JAPANESE. it doesn't make sense. it must be some video with really deep meaning. and dir en grey is happy. i love everything. fra-foa. and hyde. and japanese people must have very few names to name themselves. theres a 'hide' (who died) and 'hyde' (from l'arc-en-ciel). oh my. and then. theres also yaida hitomi, shimatani hitomi, and.. hitomi. weird isn't it.

haha lim: i love the israel national theme
haha lim: i think i'm going to dl it

hm. today, while doing calc. i realized, that not allowed to use ti89s is very evil. i am so deprived. i am so sad. im stuck with a ti83.

oh ti89.
i love you.
but you are too good.
for school.
so they dont let you.
be used
in most of those classes.
why!?
its not fair.
i love your factoring
i love your expanding
i love your derivatives
i love 3d graphing
i love everything about you.
but they dont love you.
evil calculus teachers.
but they are allowed on the AP test...
i miss you.

im weird.
im sorry.

its really interesting how at this back-to-school assembly thing, all the questions were about the dress code. all the girls asking why they couldn't wear 'distracting' clothing. but why would they want to wear distracting clothing? if they know it is distracting, why would they want to wear it? and so a bunch of girls stood up and talked and made very lame arguments. it was loud. the girls should protest. then they can cause riots and hurt people and eventually take over the school and then change all the rules. girls vs. board of education. it will go down in history. then we can learn it in us history.

its weird. i was reading chem and i took off my glasses and then i saw this streak of blood. or some read thickish liquid. so i was very confused. i wasn't bleeding anywhere. but this bloodish thing appeared and the strange thing is, it was on the inside of my glasses. the side closer to my eye. so something had to get inside to make it. hm. maybe my glasses are just organic. and they bleed just like humans. that would explain why they get all blurry and nasty and have to be cleaned. its like humans! they have to take showers and junk.