contrary to popular belief, senior year isn't so easy. well, at least in my case.

possible reasons:
1. retake sats.
2. 2 ap, 2 college, 1 hon
3. college apps.
4. MATH IN THE MORNING. sleep sleep sleep.
5. the attitude of a normal senior (too lazy to do anything about it)
6. thinking of what to do with wallet-sized senior portraits.

its really stupid. because senior portraits cost so much. so i must think of using up all my money to its maximum. maybe ill do some linear programming algebra junk and figure out the best point! bah. even the smallest package has 1 large picture, 2 medium ones, and 8 wallets! what am i supposed to do with all of those me's. giving the wallets away seems like a waste! or i guess i could be a narcissist and hang up all of them! yayayay. but i wont. they should have just let people buy one picture. because, thats really all i need. (i think). its just capitalism! more excuse to jack up prices to make everyone poor. and thats why america is losing so many people to outsourcing in china and india. because they are capitalizing now. and america is complaining. well, its their own problem. (i think)

i am always happy when it is wednesday. well, after 12 PM. because that means. over 1/2 of week is over. apparently, i am living week to week now. i hate school. i want it to all end. i dont understand anything. according to malice mizer, the answer to "what is humanity?" is. malice mizer. hate and misery. sad sad sad. friends are so useless. they die off. theres no point. take a break from the killing. no need to backstab. trust me. i will put an end to this. sucks to be you. your own problem.

im sick of school.
work to get into another school.
so i can work harder to get a good job.
and then i can work hard.
and then grow old.
and work hard to keep healthy.
and then ill die.

how come you fill in a form by filling it out?

for those wondering about my progress for college apps. ive signed up for online accounts with most of those colleges, but haven't started writing. things get damaged. things get broken. i like the new depeche mode song. its like one of the few american songs post-2002 that i like. school is dull and boring. like always. loops cannot start by themselves. even in computer programming. because starting program is a cause. loop it self is not cause. i think. art is so stupid. everything can be art. it just has to appeal to one person. and thats very easy. adding stupid effects and filters from photoshop makes things artsy. i dislike arts. math is an art. as is science. but its just an opinion isn't it. and opinions are always wrong. philosophy is like that. opinion is wrong. prove everything with facts and knowledge and logic. the study of knowledge. the study of the study of knowledge. and so forth. and that is philosophy. it is a loop.

sometimes i wish i was so popular that i would have stalkers that know more about me than i know about myself. but, at other times i wish i was an insignificant plankton in the ocean.

once i read that dir en grey's lead singer likes to make his music obscure by making the lyrics minimal and very hard to follow. so its like deep or something. i guess engrish was another one of his techniques. in their latest single: clever sleazoid. i didn't know it was mostly in english. only 2 lines are japanese. even with the lyrics, i still cant hear it. i love engrish. it distorts everything.

rofl. some post poking fun at japan's crossdressing visual kei thing.

"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Can I borrow one of your dresses for the prom?"
"Aw... sure." *sniffle* "My little boy's growing up!"

so at praise night, i was recognized by someone. but it wasn't for anything spectacular. all she asked was "are you the guy in the dress?" referring to halloween 2004. so i guess, i have a reputation now. for reference

college presentations by leland are so useless. if a kid wants to go to college, these presentations just repeat what they already know. if the kid doesn't care about college, then why would they listen? therefore, it is just nonsense.

snow white is a lame movie. the dwarves are like sad sad sad for snow white. and they build her a coffin of gold and glass. but they only know her for one day! not even a day. its like an evening. and then the only way to break that stupid spell is something about true love's first kiss. sleeping snow white is kissed by some prince that just saw her and decided to kiss her. is that really love? he is very shallow. AND, hes kissing a dead girl. disney is stupid.

rofl. it seems like people are very angry about the 'memoirs of a geisha' movie. chinese actors. japanese setting. and american production. people are so funny.

have you ever looked at a left eye and pretend its a right eye? or the other way around? its really scary. especially if subject has a lot of eye makeup on.

originality died 50 years ago. everything has been done already. even paintings made from urine. the last original thing was snow white. everything by disney is unoriginal! little mermaid was a book. and lion king was a japanese animation. so therefore, i conclude (probably incorrectly) that disney is unoriginal. but it is such a big company. originality is a waste of time. no one likes change. except 50 years later, when everyone starts copying the new (old) idea. ughguhghg. i have no point.

i was reading about the toronto film festival in time magazine or something. and then it just talked about american films. and they mentioned european films. but didn't talk anything about the asian films! racism! such good asian films there, also. YOKAI DAISENSO was there. with chiaki kuriyama. and directed by takashi miike!. its like the best combination. and TAKESHIS'. by takeshi kitano. (the teacher in battle royale). what great films! but no mention. sigh sigh sigh.

power of suggestion is a fun thing. today in art ap, i presented a slideshow of my photos. i put all my wonderful photos in the beginning, taking up about 1/2. and the other half was just crap photos. anyways. by halfway the 8 people in the room thought i was a great photographer, so when we got to the bad photos, everyone only saw the good things. it was great.

i must say. this is a very cool album cover. i love tomatoes. they taste good. i want to devour your heart.

yay. chemistry class set off fire alarm. school evacuate. and time wasted in physics. that was my highlight of the day. too much writing here.

GNAA LastMeasure: excellent
GNAA LastMeasure: chem test tomorrow
GNAA LastMeasure: i will do my chemistry test using chemistry!
GNAA LastMeasure: just got a ton of carbon
GNAA LastMeasure: from sugar
GNAA LastMeasure: you know
GNAA LastMeasure: C6H12O6
GNAA LastMeasure: so i took out the carbon
azN xrE taRD BOI: oh yes
GNAA LastMeasure: and i'll be using that carbon
GNAA LastMeasure: to write my test
GNAA LastMeasure: WOOO
GNAA LastMeasure: i'm not lying either
GNAA LastMeasure: lol
GNAA LastMeasure: which is the sad part
azN xrE taRD BOI: rofl
azN xrE taRD BOI: what a fun class
GNAA LastMeasure: OH SHIT
GNAA LastMeasure: RAIN
GNAA LastMeasure: gotta save my carbon
GNAA LastMeasure: brb

ugh. i think i got a cold in the cold morning for zero period math 73. and then i got a heat stroke in the middle of the day. i hate the weather.

i hate school. i am sick of it. and my body is sick also. anyways. i dont want to go to college. i dont want to major in anything. the lead singer of dir en grey didn't even go to high school! he just went on with his tonedeafness and made a band. and now is one of the largest bands in japan. and hes also half deaf. and he didn't have school. hes so popular that all the fangirls name their dolls after him so they can say "i slept with kyo last night." i have more education than him. i should be more successful. but i wont be. poor me. school is bunk. studying is bunk. i didn't study for calc bc ap test and i got a 5. i didn't study for chem ap test. and i got a 4. i studied my whole life into apush. and i failed. ROFLROFL. studying is detrimental to grades. and leland's physics is absolutely stupid. i dont think i can get in trouble for saying the teacher knows nothing about physics. because he doesn't. hes a bio teacher. and a swim coach. eh. i answer a physics question with calculus. and he doesn't understand it so he says i made up the answer and took off points. i hate school. school doesn't need bathrooms for the c-wing.

so a while ago, i posted a conversation on soulseek between some random people talking about a pop group called morning musume. someone tricked the other guy into thinking they were heavy metal. but apparently, looks can be decieving. anyways. i am not saying morning musume is heavy metal. but a few minutes i saw a picture of this "heavy metal" japanese female rock group called aphasia. they aren't really heavy metal, but its not pop. kind of punk. but japanese standards are lower. anyways. they looked like this. so, yea.

this one college emailed me. and the subject was "we're watching you like a hawk." i think thats very scary. so i do not want to apply to that college. its like a stalker college.

normal classes are funny. in government. the teacher said something about some classmate not using matches because she had a lighter. so girl replies. "i dont smoke. i dont use a lighter." so teacher sarcastically says "so you do hookah?" and she says "mmm. thats good in apple." and the class erupts with joy about this discussion. and everyone is discussing their favorite flavors. and being happy. and i just sit there and follow rules. poor me.

very cool. its only $100.

i wonder. everyone died. everything blossomed. "surely tomorrow". i think i'll fake a death. and everything will be jolly. hey walnut. what do i do when i hear the sarcasm in someone's kindness? what is going to happen? there is no optimism. maybe there is. just a little. wash away everything. and start on homework. assigned by a teacher that does not understand what he is teaching. strange things happen, huh?

more from my [normal] government class:

girl: "why are some parts of the constitution crossed out?"
boy: "i dont know. mr. _____, why are parts of the constitution crossed out?"
teacher: "oh, they were amended."
girl: "what does that mean?"
teacher: "changed."
girl: "THEY CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION!?"

eh. anyways. i have straight a's except for a c-. in MATH!?!!?!?!?!?. har har. i am getting t3h pwnz0rz. in the subject i shouldn't be getting killed in.

do as infinity has broken up. oh no.

teehee. so in economics, theres a stock market game about investment and junk. anyways. i took econ last year, so it doesn't matter. but i joined this semester's game just for fun. and i bought 21000 shares of some random company with shares worth $1.10. i forget about it. and 3 weeks later. aka today. i am approached by scary asian kids that want to terrorize me because my stock rose a few cents. giving me a gain of $8000+. and shooting me to first. roflrofl.

i think its really lame when networking websites like myspace or facebook or friendster become a competition. it completely kills the original concept. i think it would be nice to have to keep in touch with old friends or something. but now its just add everyone and having a billion friends. oh well.

one reason why american music sucks. their albums are like $10-$20 and artists/bands still complain about how music is stolen on internet and junk. in japan, singles are that price. albums are about $30 each. and yet, they still sell much more than american cds.

i really hate college websites. its so messy. and there are links everywhere. it is like they intentionally designed them this way to filter out the kids that cant navigate websites. so i guess i cant go to college now. i failed the first test of admissions.

sometimes i am very happy i am in a normal class. sometimes i wish i was in advanced. in american government (normal): "hey, what political party is arnold in?" "oh, i think democrats." "really? i thought he was republican cuz bush loves him." "yea, bush is a democrat." at times like these. i dont know if i should like or dislike the class.

yay. a person thinks he knows all, but he knows nothing. another person knows he knows nothing. what a problem. which is smarter. i dont think the second person can exist in the first place. because then they would know something. and he knows false things, which means he knows nothing. but he does know he knows nothing. eh. and it loops. therefore, socrates shouldn't have existed. because the 2nd person was socrates. and his silly socrates irony or something like that. what a nonconformist.

eh. school hasn't updated their online grade checker to my new schedule. oh noes.

[Klamir] Someone can tell me a name of a HeavyMetal Japanese Band???
[[data embargo]] MORNING MUSUME
[[data embargo]] they're heavy metal
[JUD] thats cruel
[Klamir] thanks

uh. if you want to know why i find it amusing. please examine information and induce some idea.

so i really decided to give up on getting into stats. and since today was the last day for all schedule changes, i was ready to edit movies today in media arts! i was almost complete with my first movie and everything is going well. except i didn't go to media arts today. school decided to send me the schedule change into stats. so now i have to catch up on 5 homework assignments and a chapter test. too bad the first 3 homework assignments took a few hours each. so. meh.

look, new ipod. its gross. things just keep getting smaller and smaller. and quality drops with it. wtf only 4 gigabytes. tiny! i think normal ipod size is practical. they should make harddrives smaller and fit them into that ipod size. because at some point getting smaller makes it worse. and i think anything past ipod normal size is worse. especially if it has such a tiny harddrive. ugh. small things suck. laptops suck. and pdas too. i dislike new ipod. this ipod is so easy to snap in half now.

apathy has struck me down. there's no need to care. it is just a waste of time anyways. why am i in art ap? ugh. bad decisions. math 73 starts tomorrow. i don't care. early in the morning. bah. need to find colleges. need to write essays. need to find letters of rec. need to get motivated to do those things. or i will be stuck applying to UCs and thats all. but that is okay. because i hate change. i dont want to explore some new state. i think its retarded. ill stay in california because i'm used to it. and i'll stay in huge classes because it can make me feel more insignificant. and i like things that way. ap art is 8 person class and i hate it. because i cant hide. and besides, the other class sizes at leland are already huge (and i dont like it to change) because leland is a stupid school and doesn't hire enough teacher so class sizes are huge already. apparently its already over some limit that the person in charge of schedule changes says. he says he cant put me in statistics because class is filled to limit. and i say people dropped but he says its still over the limit. and i wonder why it was over the limit in the first place. so leland just spends all its money to make bathrooms that wont stay clean.

i also had another dream that i was going to get pho. but i didn't have enough money, so all i could buy was msg. it was a tasty dream. but it was deadly.

i had a dream that i was really hungry. and i was fighting velociraptors (however you spell it). and then i was going to eat them if i killed them. but i only had a fork. and they were all attacking me. it was a dangerous dream. its funny that psychology has said that visual kei music sucks. becuase all the girliness just distracts from the bad music. no wonder most of the visual kei music sucks.

"If a man has one whisker on his face, he doesn't have a beard. If he grows a second whisker, he still doesn't have a beard. A third whisker won't give him a beard either. So it doesn't matter how many whiskers a man has: he still won't have a beard." wowow. its super logic! fallacy but makes sense! somewhat.

DORAEMON is going to be made into another movie soon! yayayay. i cant wait. this is like 20 years old. i cant believe its still alive. it will never die!

i want to do so many things. but there is a lack of time. so i should stop doing many things. or i can extend time. but i cannot do that. multi-personality disorder is bad. like bad logic. do you want to die? make me into a flower. grind my skull open and plant a flower in my brains. preferably a tulip. maybe a daisy.

our good friend pythagoras was part of some cult who didn't eat beans. because inside a bean, there is something that looks like a human embryo. so its cannibalism. it gives new meaning to the spelling error "human bean." in other news, i have to take 100+ pictures for art ap. i hate photography.