halloween is the day for girls to dress up as whorey as they want without anyone complaining. so why cant the boys? so, i broke the dress code today. and dress as in dress, not clothing. oh well. just like last year. except without a extra credit motivation. just for pure happiness. and the reactions from all the other people. harhar.

i will find pictures soon.

and eye makeup is really annoying.

the new rammstein album came out a few days ago. and i must say. im somewhat impressed. big recovery from the last album. its so good. that i might get rid of japanese music for a while. and listen to it. well, thats what i say after listening to the first 3 songs. which were all good. unlike the last album. which was. listen to 1 song at a time. i like this cd. so far.

there seems to be a lot of roadkill recently. racoons, squirrels, and rabbits. its very sad because no one cleans them up. they are in the middle of the road. no one is going to risk becoming roadkill to clean up roadkill. so they are flattened until they become the earth again. but no one likes squirrels, so its okay. i think.

sad music is really depressing. but that is just a redundancy. weak sentence. state the obvious more please. i like 24 cylinders. i think. give me laugh. give me pain. give me something. or nothing. look at it now. dreams wilt. what a metaphor thing. do they bloom also? maybe. give me nothing if time ends. and over here its supposed to go dot dot dot. to give it more thought and seem deep. does your voice reach me?

i dont like classes that have participation points. i cant raise my hand. its a medical condition! maybe. but i cant. no matter how much i want to get the points. and then stupid people always want to talk. and contribute nothing. or say the same thing as before. and when they talk they always say "i dont know". which is retarded because they are just stating that they dont know what they are talking about. but of course, they get their points for raising their hands. and they always volunteer to read, but they cant pronounce words and... they just cant read. but i guess its the willingness to try that counts. (or some nonsense like that). i am silent because i think its better to be silent and be thought a fool, instead of opening my mouth and removing the doubt. thats a quote from somewhere. but i dont know where. but i guess typing it up is the same as opening my mouth, so im a fool also. we are all fools.

it's a wonderful world. correct and recorrect. that is the world. i want to watch zebraman. its about a guy who is a failure at life so he tries to escape the world by dressing up as zebraman. and hes a superhero. and it seems cool. because its a takashi miike movie. and they are all good. anyways. today we watched hamlet in english. the version with mel gibson. anyways. when he was dying, there was an upclose shot of his face. and i think i saw the camera's reflection in his eyeballs. that would be a cool mistake! like in azumi, there is one scene where the camera man's shadow can be seen. mistakes are fun. but everyone makes them. but that is just an excuse. people should just strive for perfection. but thats impossible. so why bother? might as well be the lowest. because 2nd is the first loser. ABCDF grading system is silly. 90 is the same was 99. i strive for 90. i miss sometimes.

prove rad2 is an irrational number. but its more like prove rad2 isn't a rational number. bah. extra credit for stats is to answer the question "what is a number?" and apparently. thats a very hard question to answer. apparently theres more the numbers than just the real and imaginary. and rational and irrational. there are surreal numbers also.

japanese are crazy. their motto is "business is war". so even their music industry stuff is all about business. usually a music video is called. a music video. or MV. everyone in asia calls videos MVs. except for japan. they call them PVs. because they are "promotional videos". which means they are making these videos just to promote the song and get more money! more business!.

and the most emo music in the world is classical music.

i am told my posts are now little short pieces of sentences and they do not satisfy. but i am really getting bored of keeping a blog and tired of websites. so, i just post some random crap because i feel like i have an obligation. anyways. sat scores are out. for the oct session. but since everything was moved to the 29th, people still have to take. and people that went standby (like me) apparently wont get our scores until the 29th. so i still have to wait. which means i wont get into college. thanks. anyways. i was thinking in math 73 that in all the other math classes before everyone asked about application. and how derivatives and matrices and trig and other useless junk related to the world. and then the teacher would just say "its good to know this" and not really give an answer. anyways, in math 73 now, the teacher gives a lot of application. but no one cares anymore. and just wants to learn the math. people are weird.

i'm stressing out over math 73 homework. and then i check my email. and spam! for stress-relief drugs. its so cool! maybe thats how these companies make money.

ughhg. math 73 (multivariable calculus) is a killer class. i dont know what is happening and everything is so hard. and its early in the morning and the teacher is boring. the homework is incredibly lame. no one knows how to do number 1 and 4! ughgh. out of 10 questions. that means max of like 80%. ughghhg. sighsihgshgishggh.

i bite my nails because i am hungry. oh, i am so fat. i'm glad i'm not soluble. that would make me sad. i would effervesce and bubble. and then explode into a million pieces. because some parts of body is water. and fat. like lipids and other stuff that i forgot. but the body it made up of carbons and hydrogens and oxygens. i hate organic chemistry.

hearts are overused in the music industry. heart grenades, hearts with wings, bloody ripped out hearts, hearts with scissors, suicidal hearts hanging from trees, pixelated hearts, zombie hearts. and others.

is there no end? well, sometimes. this triangle has more than three angles. thats not fair. are you a rationalist? or empiricist? delighted or disillusioned? triangles have three angles. so redundant. the name gives it away. boats are falling from the sky. the sky is empty. i see two strings. and a wing. you have poor man's memory. the only moment. what a tragedy. i'm not cleaning up this mess.

botanGOHAN: I only like girls
botanGOHAN: top 4 %
botanGOHAN: of class

when i grow up, im going to join the yakuza. and then get a full body tattoo. and then grow out my facial hair like the yakuza facial hair. and then learn the special language they have. because it sounds cooler than normal japanese.

in art class, the class of 8 students, 5 wear converses. + the teacher. so in a room of 9, 6 are wearing converses. that is very high. i think converse/emoness is related to art. the correlation is so high. however, i learned in statistics that high correlation does not necessarily mean causation. which means that art isn't a very emo thing. possibly. they might have a confounding factor, or common cause. or they just might be cause and effect. stats and art are silly classes.

botanGOHAN: I don't remember my UC
botanGOHAN: app
botanGOHAN: password
botanGOHAN: but if I say
botanGOHAN: forgot password
botanGOHAN: they'll know I'm unorganized

i dislike alarm clocks. on friday, a few days ago, i had to go to math 73. so alarm is set at 6. so it starts beeping at 6. so i try turning off the alarm, but it slips my hand and falls to the ground. and the battery falls out and it shuts up. much easier than a switch. i proceed to school. i fix clock later. then today, i decide im going to take a nap, so i do. and then in half an hour, the alarm clock falls down, making a loud sound, and i wakes me up. even with the alarm off, the alarm clock wakes me up.

i am really pathetic because most of the IMs that i get are from people that get infected by those aim viruses that are like "look at these pictures! [include some OBVIOUS link to a *.exe or *.com file]" and then a click causes it spread to everyone on buddy list. its really stupid how people actually click it. but today i just got a link from someone that i never knew had my screenname. so i guess a good thing about those viruses is that they also show me my stalkers.

since i'm cool, i left room for un-disproving the cup half-full thing that i brought up last post. so half-empty could also mean half of the cup containing nothing. so saying that half the cup is empty is true, but saying that the cup is half-empty is wrong because half-empty is 0. half the cup is empty is 1/2. therefore, terms need to be defined clearer. and some other philosophical junk (that i am not learning in philosophy) needs to take place.

so i was thinking about that question about cup half-full or half-empty (optimism/pessimism). i think. that a cup cannot be half-empty. because empty is nothing. half of nothing is not the same as half of everything. it is still nothing. lets set the cup's volume to be 1. so full would be 1. half-full would be 1/2. and empty would be 0. half-empty is 0. therefore. pessimism does not exist in this world. and that means all those emo kids, angry goth kids, and friends are all feeling the attitude of something that doesn't even exist! oh. the world is falling apart. the world has been disproven mathematically!. i win!

senior year is really boring. all the homeworks are due in a while, so i dont bother to do them. and then uc college apps are due by end of november. and the other colleges that im applying to are jan and feb. so until nov 29, i will be very bored. all i do now is sit around and watch japanese dramas and shows. because they are works of genius. and when i say japanese drama, i dont mean the 45 minute shows where its some love story that spans like 20 episodes and at the end its just one person dying and everyone is sad. and blah blahblah. its the other ones that are fun to watch. (instead of watching and being sad and torturing self.) and its really cool because japanese people are good at original stuff. but what i like a lot about these dramas are that they can transition from emotions really smoothly. and it makes me wish that i could make cool movie things like that. and thats what i do now.

ed is a genius. bring starcraft on a usb memory stick thing and plug into the computers for online physics class. run from drive. and then play starcraft! no installation! its genius. now everyone needs to buy a usb memory stick and then everyone can have a massive lan!

my fish (singular; other one died) inspires me a lot. i haven't cleaned its tank in months. and often i forget to feed it. but. somehow it still lives. even in the harshest conditions. it fights to survive. sometimes by even eating its own feces. i wish i had a drive like that. i cleaned its tank today.

but i forgot to feed. until i wrote this.

so today, there were a bunch of people from china at leland. they were principals of their schools in china and they were touring leland. its very strange. because leland is such a horrible school to tour. i dont understand. i bet they are just going to fly back to china and laugh.

anyways. i am now legal to watch rated r movies. yay. i got a cake from alice. yay.

and look!! chiaki kuriyama wants to share her 2 day old cake with me!


i wish.

since i do not feel like typing up a blog today, i will leave you with an assignment i had to do for english a week ago. its like the canterbury tales. it is a poem that describes a person. notice the iambic pentameter and rhyming couplets!

Asian boy

Blasting techno, the Asian boy arrives
In his import car, shiny like new knives.
Stepping out, one notices his short guise.
But he makes it up with his large brain size.
This boy has a different work ethic.
Study hard and surpass any rubric.
Knowledgeable in many hard subjects.
Somehow, he can make everything connect.
Work hard to get into a good college
So he can work harder for four more years.
School is his only primary concern.
A's are the only thing for which he yearns.
Numbers dominate and control his life
SAT scores, four oh, and AP fives.
It is only worthwhile to be the best
Everything else is just like the rest.
But there can only be one number one
So just work much harder and have less fun.
Xanga is his only means of contact.
Myspace, Livejournal, it's a proven fact.
This smart boy leaves no time for any girls
Just math, which leaves others' minds in swirls.

in government class, everything thinks im a communist. because we had some worksheet that we check what ideas we agree with. so i checked three from the republican side and one from the democrat side. out of like 50 on each side. because i dont care. politics are a waste of time. in my opinion. it just makes everyone else angry.

ANYWAYS. it is chiaki kuriyama's birthday! yayayayya. gogo! she can stab me and gouge out my internal organs. and then we can be friends!

jrock convention this nov. thanksgiving weekend. im pondering whether to go. because its like 5 days before college applications are due. but. its jrock! which means there will be dealers. and i can go and buy all those import cds. !!! but what is killing me are the bands that are going to be there. theres like 5 or something. and like 3 are from bay area!??!! bay area jrock bands!?!? and they include white people! white people singing japanese music! i guess it could be funny. but, its going to be gross music. because. of course they are all indie bands. and we all know that indie bands suck because they are indie.

caffeine free sodas are stupid.

ha! i win. misery is defeated! no more sats! i think. if theres any left its in november. and its chinese sat2 for more credits. which i doubt i will take. but thats the only possibility. so i woke up early and went to another testing site and did that standby thing. yayayay. misery is over. only college application now!

ugh. THE ONE CALIFORNIA SAT TEST SITE THAT WAS POSTPONED HAD TO BE SANTA THERESA. wtf. from tomorrow. all the way to 10/29. which means. 3 more weeks of being hassled to study. i wish it could all end. and i know i wont do much better, and i'm going to feel bad because i had all that extra time. and its stupid. because its cancelled. and theres no real reason. only a rumor about someone stealing a test. how stupid.

so in 5 months, leland gets owned again. roske. and now jesse. eh. soon, there will be great controversy. and everyone will be making everything seem much worse. at least that happened for roske's incident. whats stupid about that was that the people who found it to be the greatest problem were the people that have never even had roske as a teacher. they are like "OMG HE RUINED LIVES AND HE SHOULD BE PUT IN JAIL FOR LIFE!!!". so stupid. but people are stupid. so that big excitement of making fun of arrested teachers will continue. but i do wonder what will happen to yearbooks this year.

i dont like shakespeare. i dont understand him. but hamlet seems kind of cool. from what i learned (from sparknotes), i believe its about some boy. he's really emo and wonders why suicide is a sin. and he also probably does drugs. which explains why he sees apparitions of his dead father. well that was act 1.

one major annoyance: the west valley website will not remember my password. so everytime i want to check my transcript to see the classes to write on application, i have to request it to change my password again. eh. annoying!

i am back from the museum of modern art. and i think it sucks. some of it at least. i propose that a defined line be drawn between art and the other crap. my eyes were blinded by the blue in yves klein's blue painting. its just a huge canvas that was just painted all blue. and this other guy just signed his name on a toilet and that was art. and this other guy named robert rauschenberg asked his famous artist friend de kooning to draw him a good picture. so de kooning did. and it had crayon and pen and pencil. and then rauschenberg just erased it. it took him 1 month and 40 erasers. then he signed it and called it his. therefore, we need to draw a line.

oh yes. i think this also shows that humans are devolving. because. people used to have a sense of what art was. everything photorealistic. but now. its just everything. so we are not focusing into one super perfect end species. we are splitting up. or something. it made more sense in my head.

UC APPLICATION IS SO FUN!! omgz!

sometimes i wish i was really very lactose intolerant. instead of just little bit lactose intolerant. why? because last night i had a huge stomachache. so if i was very lactose intolerant, then i could just drink some milk. and everything would be cleared! but alas i wasn't, so i got no sleep last night. therefore, i didn't go to 1st period today. but it doesn't matter! because its math 73 and thats college and professor doesn't care. and i wont be at school tomorrow because art ap decided to go to some field trip to san francisco museum of modern art. and i dislike that stupid art. stupid color field artists. paint a white canvas white. and call it art. apparently a 3 color overlaying square pattern can bring viewers into tears. stupid. but it is required and i must skip a whole day to go. hm. it seems like people still care about things like homecoming. (even though they should be doing SATs and applying for college!). i am so lonely. UC applications came out today! yay joy!

evolution must be false because everything should lead to perfection! even stupid things like music. all the kids these days seem to still like the beatles (i do not). but they are like many many many years old. and that must mean they are better than current music. which means its not progressing towards perfection!

anyways. i watched a few minutes of jerry springer yesterday. and i didnt understand it. because it was like beep. beep beep. everything was censored. and then some fat woman was like "OMG im so BEEP BEEP BEEP" and then she took off her clothes. and then the other woman was like "I LOVE MY HUSBAND" and she took off her clothes. from what i saw, i think its about a husband cheating on wife. maybe.

i dont understand.

i think i'm going to write about battle royale for college personal essay. i think. well. i think its good. because. i doubt others will write about it. so it will stand out! and i can also write about all the things i learned and how my attitude has changed because of it. but its also about kids killing each other, so that could be a bad thing. but! that could also be a good thing also. because its like shock advertising. it works! an example is dir en grey. in their macabre era (i think). they dressed up as girls. and they were hugging each other. and one of them had a swastika. strange and bad. but it worked! so maybe a battle royale personal essay will work also. but i still have to write it. and think of things that i learned from it and BENEFICIAL attitude changes.