this semester has been starting pretty well. i think im going to start statistics with a F. or something around there. im guessing about 30%. just an estimation. but still need to start working hard. need to ganbatte. math 78 is incredibly boring. but i think i understand it all so far. not really. my textbook is one edition older than what is currently used so i get to have fun looking around the textbook to find what section its on. (but! it was free. not $90+). i have to search in book because i cant really listen to teacher because he makes it much more complicated than it is. so must work hard by self. or something. i hate school. school sucks. its miserable. only 1 semester left. and then college. and it repeats.

engrish is funny. because bugy craxone had some song called "hey god, sit down please" but because of their engrish, the cd was printed "hey god, shit down please". so they had to apologize.

finally changed my calendar to 2006. took down my 2005 calendar that was still on february. and replaced with january 2006. i need more interesting calendars. i think that is why i never change the month. i have a calendar on computer anyways. and computer is never off. only when i am at school. that is when it gets to rest.

what am i doing here? i am so tired. everything is annoying. everything is discouraging. nothing to do. everything to do. sometimes. com(?). maybe. what does that mean anyways. nothing. just ambiguity. write in pen so it can be graded. just use ink. printer ink. color is good. black and white has no hue or intensity. just value. babble on like a babelfish. translate things into other things. 煌め逝くもの. is the title. something that sparkles and fades. kirameyuku mono. so short. but so long. only the ether can heal pain and suffering. too bad scientists disproved the ether. so malice and misery is the answer to the question of what is humanity. i dont see how people can really see all this symbolism in everything. it is nonsense. or deep thought. time is valuable. living as if we were to die tomorrow. might as well kill that uncertainty. and just end our lives right now. die. or go do homework.

ebay is evil. it makes me want to buy everything. yesterday, i signed on to see the dir en grey cds that i was watching. i thought they had already ended. i just wanted to see how much they were when bidding ending. but i logged in and saw the kisou album with 8 seconds left. being impulsive, i just clicked through a few windows and accidentally won it in the last seconds. i also bid on withering to death. but i lost. today. i checked my mail and found out that the highest bidder didn't want to pay for withering to death or something so i got the next offer. and so i bought it. and now i have these two dir en grey albums. kisou and withering to death. good cds but i wanted macabre. not those two. so ebay is evil. oh well. i can now listen to dir en grey in high quality sound. and i get to see cool cd insert paper things.

tomorrow i turn 19. in chinese age counting. because it is chinese new years tomorrow. and all the other new years that are based on lunar calendar. so i am old.

my virus scanner is annoying. it randomly starts up and does a complete virus scan. and then its annoying because i have to stop it. but today i clicked stopped, and it isn't stopping. it also greyed out the stop button like it would stop, but it isn't stopping. so it is scanning my complete computer. every single byte. or whatever. annoying. and now it is eating up my system resources because virus scans take up so much power. because all the harddrives have to spin and all that nonsense. even typing this blog post is hard because i type and i have to wait for it to appear after a few seconds. its annoying. like virus scanners.

i dont believe in depression.

hm. seems like i am only listening to female fronted vocals now. it is strange. i think it is because tokyo jihen just released a beautiful album. and then i started listening to shiina ringo again (lead singer for tokyo jihen). and then bugy craxone. amano tsukiko. akino arai. aikawa nanase. and then some old ayumi hamasaki stuff. (apparently a lot of them like to start with a). and of course fra-foa. and now i am even listening to the soundtrack of "all about lily chou-chou". which is some movie about some fantasy musician called lily chou-chou and everyone was obsessed with her and something about her "ether" music healing wounds and stuff. but it was a very strange story and school kids killed each other. eh. but it had great music. because there was a real lily chou-chou album created to go with the movie. and i like it. but. i dont know what differential equations are. math 78 is going to be hard. the end.

i think it would be cool to boycott school or something. like in asia, if the students dont like the teacher, they just stand up and leave the class. and then it's all the teacher's fault, and then he gets fired. well, at least that is what happens in school dramas. but in america if no one comes to school one day, everyone just thinks it is a ditch day. and then its no fun because no teachers get fired. so i hate school. i think.

so apparently i ditched class today. it was unintentional though!. apparently math 78 started today. i didn't know that. i thought it would have started at college schedule so that would be the 30th. it started college schedule last year. but apparently its on high school schedule so it started today. and i missed the first day of school. and its retarded. i hate school.

2 more singles. poker face and nothing from nothing. and then. i have all of ayumi hamasaki singles and albums. then i need to get excerpts from ayumix 3 and the previously unreleased 1-4 cds. guhguh. after that. i am complete. i think. then i need to get rid of low quality versions (128 kbps or lower). almost there. japan is like pure capitalism because their music artists decide to make singles (so many of them too) and then release those single songs on albums. and they make the single versions different than album versions. so one has to buy both. like tokyo jihen's shuraba has different instruments and dir en grey's embryo has completely different lyrics. but that is okay. because i am not that big of a fan to go out and buy everything. it costs too much money anyways. $30+ for an album! gross. and i dont know where this post is going. but that is okay. because i dont know.

[0mricon] what was that really popular ayumi song that was remixed?

gardening is so difficult. it is very annoying pulling weeds because there are like infinite amount of them. they discourage me. and then its annoying to fertilize because what if it helps the weeds!? then its all useless. i hate gardens. when i grow up i will have no garden. i will have a cactus and then it will be happy. the end.

so i am watching GTO. it is a brilliant drama. its a good thing i watched all those other dramas before this because if i watched them after this, they would have been so horrible. and yea. anyways. because i have nothing to post, i guess i will post some lyrics. even though i dont like quoting lyrics. i guess its normal to be hypocritical sometimes. so here we go.

actually. after some searching, i couldn't really find any good meaningful lyrics to post that wouldn't make me seem all emo and stuff. so yea. i wont post anything. but i finally did find the translations for remioromen's konayuki. which is cool. but its some song about powdered snow. eh. oh!

"If I'm going to someday disappear, I'll hold the dearness of 'having lived', the sadness and even the pain. I am here now."
-fra-foa - sumiwataru sora, sono mukou ni boku ga mita mono (what i saw beyond the clear sky)

lack of sleep is bad for body. but that is okay. because i spent that time playing computer games. lan party is fun. eating lots of wasabi is bad.

hm. it seems like cross dressing as a girl does get old. japanese visual kei people are like. not doing that stuff anymore. like. dir en grey stopped doing that right about when i found out about them. i think kisou/sixugly era was still kind of visual kei. not really. but they stopped crossdressing. luna sea also stopped near the end of their life. and even x japan! which is sometimes credited for creating visual kei. mucc stopped dressing weird. and l'arc-en-ciel did a long time ago. larc doesn't even want to remember and they hate when people say they were visual kei. its funny. because that is like what japanese rock is known for. and now its all falling apart! i was watching the new kagrra, (yes. with the comma) video and suddenly i realized, they weren't in kimonos anymore! guh! that is what kagrra, is known for. and they are no more visual kei. (although their music did get better). so i conclude that japanese people are weird. they make bad music when they crossdress and their music gets better as they look more manly. except for dir en grey. i prefer their old music better. its more poppy. and i like that.

i think it is annoying when people ask questions about multiple choice answers when it is obvious that the right answer is not it. 2 more finals.

oh danny b0i: have fun on the physics final
oh danny b0i: it's so gay
f a t s h e e p1: y?
HxaMaxH: wats on?
oh danny b0i: there's so much crap on electricity
oh danny b0i: i got owned
f a t s h e e p1: lolol
f a t s h e e p1: get owned by electrcity more plz
oh danny b0i: yeah
oh danny b0i: got thundershocked by pikachu

computers are so smart now. a few days ago i decided i would be cool and get one of those last.fm audioscrobbler things. and so i start listening to music. and a few days later, i check back and suddenly all the advertisements are in japanese. its pretty cool. kind of. but it's still stupid because it keeps recommending stuff that i listen to. so that is kind of useless.

i am so unmotivated! finals start tomorrow and i'm not worried at all! i know i should be. but. i have art final tomorrow. so yea. can't do much about that. and that's the only final tomorrow. ugh. get to school at 10 or something. i don't even know what time to really get there. anyways. i found a way to get past region coding on my computer, so i can watch all those ayumi hamasaki dvds that came with the cds. and then i can get the german version of the new rammstein dvd when it comes out. hm. just realized that rammstein's new album still isn't released in america. they are really making americans suffer. never tour here and not even releasing the new album. oh well. time to study for art final. or something.

so ive been hearing a lot about this random japanese experimental band called "boredoms". so i decided to try them out. seemed interesting. they had 3 drummers. well, 2 and 1 percussion. and their singer doesn't sing all the time and when he does he is just mumbling and saying random junk. so its true experimental music. and they are weird because the singer changed his name 3 times for no reason at all. anyways. they turned out to be quite cool. i cant describe it. but that was only hearing one cd. they have been around since like 1985 or something. so they have too many cds. and no one knows how the lineup changes are. because they randomly put names and change their names. har. its great. and i read that at one concert, they drove a forklift through the venue and caused $60000 worth of damage. experimental music is funny.

its strange. people seem to be very strange these days. talking about power rangers, yugioh, pokemon, and stuff from back in the day. so i decided i would try to think of important things that happened from way back. and i realized. i cant think of anything. i do remember florida trip after 8th grade. actually, not really. i only remember that i screwed up and only brought one pair of socks. but nothing middle school or before. anything from high school i have blogged somewhere so i can consult that. but i think things are not worth remembering if i have to write it down to remember. hm. so i guess my life sucks because the only thing i remember before blog is misery. sad sad.

hm. last friday the 13th in high school. i think. anyways. dir en grey rumors about coming to america. excitement. cannot wait.

hi. i am so tired. not physically. i dont feel like doing anything. i dont want to study for finals. and i dont want to do homework. i looked at my stats hw that i should have done yesterday and i saw that i had to find the mean and standard deviation for like 30 numbers, and i decided i would do it tomorrow. its easy with calculator but it still takes a lot of time to type all those numbers in. even though i have lots of time. i'm glad i'm not soluble. that would be quite bad. i'm glad i'm not soluble. that would make me sad. deep lyrics. please set out one afternoon to think about these lyrics. in the end you will just be helping yourself. maybe.

sometimes people are lame. like the yearbook students. senior bests: best butt, craziest driver. obviously they are going to be rejected by the administrators. so they were. fools.

region locked dvds players are ANNOYING. i need region free.

internet is dying. random on and offs. that is one reason why i'm not online. because i dont want to keep asking if one said anything that i missed.

art is nonsense. i wish i could drop. but then i would have to tell a bunch of schools that i dropped. but its not like schools should care much anyways. because im applying to enginnering. but its AP. so its important. maybe.

yay. that was one fun blackout. happened at school. and then we were in computer lab so we had to go back to classroom. and then someone said "let's watch a movie!" and she was quite serious. stupid stupid. it was a normal class. so i guess that is expected. that is all. i cant wait for another black out. so my computer can get fried again. i always get scared when computer dies. because i am afraid it will never turn back on again.

the UC application verification thing is basically done. teacher has agreed to write letter. but the lamest thing is. I HAVE TO PAY FOR MY OWN POSTAGE to ship in something i have to do. so i am paying extra for admissions. i better get into berkeley now.

i cant wait for finals to end. because after that is cheesecake factory! which has been tradition since soph year. fun fun. and then lan. !!!. haven't lanned in a while. must lan. but thinking of it now is bad. distracts from study. not that i'm going to study now. but lanalanaln. cant wait. but annoying because i have 6th period and that takes away from lan time. or, since it's government, i can just go in and mark all C's or wahtever. and then stand up and leave. probability says i'll get higher than 10%. and it's not like teacher will really care.

i think dramas are made so asian kids can be motivated to become doctors to find a cure for cancer or leukemia or whatever the girl dies from in dramas.

im listening to 80's jpop. akina nakamori is cool. japan's 80's rock is good to listen to also. buck-tick is cool. anyways. 5 more days. then 3 days of finals. and its all over. first semester that is. art, english, stats, physics. all borderline. not really. but need to do decently well on them. art final is retarded. some report on art. which should have more defined grading with standards and stuff. but it probably will just end up being graded like how teacher grades art: if graded while in happy mood, good grade. ive been decently lucky. a few bad moods, but its all okay. his way of inputting grades is weird. he has assignments and he just gives a letter grade on it. if its A, it is 93%. if it is A-, it's 90%. so grade is always low. and then he averages those. and gets a percent. each extra credit is +1%. (which is good. but there's little ec). thats for first grading period. then next grading period, it has 1st grading period as one assignment. and then that gets averaged with the 2nd grading period's assignments. and its stupid. because 1st grading period is worth as much as one 2nd grading assignment. and last grading period, 1st grading period becomes more worthless. it is ridiculous. so i guess that's why he went to art school. whatever. i need around 10% on government final to keep A.

wow, what an inconvenience. i got selected to have my stuff verified for my UC application. so now i have to figure out how to get a teacher to sign stuff. at least its only for one thing. because they highlight some random stuff. but why! why didn't they have me verify my scores?! thats so easy. i can just turn in a transcript. but no. they had to make me verify extracurricular. which means i have to confront a teacher. and i hate doing that. UAGHAHGGAH.

yay. kristine got me jrock ink and its such a cool book. because it talks about all the jrock bands and has cool art. everything is so artsy. so now i can study all about these jrock bands and write a thesis and be so cool. yay. has so many bands ive never heard of before. must go try them out.

windows xp is lame because i left my computer on at night to download a drama thing, and then apparently windows xp automatically downloaded an update and restarted my computer. so i got my download up to 99.9%. its a torrent, so then there were no seeders. and there is only 1 piece left!. ughghghg. so its stuck there until one person decides to seed again. how sad. i am sad. microsoft works. what an oxymoron. harharhar. what an old joke. anyways. i like jonathan swift's writings because he says that we should eat babies when the conditions are poor. i invented my own art technique in art class today. i was bored and playing with water colors and i made all these random arts in the water dish by putting watercolors in it. and then it dissociates and looks all artsy. yay. yay.

hm. haven't been on aim for a while. at least not for long periods of time. i think i lost interest in doing meaningless things because i usually just turn on aim and go do something else. my eyes hurt anyways. not really. however, computer has been on. you know. sometimes i turn my volume of my music really low. but it still seems to play. and then i realize its in my mind. and i get scared and hear things. but that is okay. what am i saying?

i think its pretty funny that some people would go steal ram from the physics computers. because its some cheap useless ram that would probably slow a computer down and not really worth the $50 that the administrators claim it is worth. but maybe this will show the school that they shouldn't have wasted the $45000 (claimed) on these useless physics computers plus the fees for some lame online course because thats about how much they could pay a teacher anyways. students cant steal a teacher. but students can steal a computer. but i am kind of glad that these kids stole the computer ram because this might mean that the school might stop this retarded online physics.

hi. i got a haircut. she had to use a knife. i only need to use about 1/10 shampoo as before. i feel so naked. bye.

yay. school begins again tomorrow. i cant wait. back to work. and brain can regenerate. i think these random split second power outages are the only thing that caused my computer to be turned off this break. hm. that is pretty bad for computer, i think. keeping her on for very long periods of time and when she turns off its not even really turning off. i should take better care of my computer. or she will hate me. (yes, my computer is female). but sometimes my computer acts weird because she downloads torrents faster when the client claims there is a "connection error". eh. oh well. i think my first resolution for the year will be to cut down downloading. because at berkeley (im assuming all schools are like berkeley), i hear they have a 5 gig limit download per month. or something extremely low like that. right now i do about 5 gigs per week. eh. oh well.

i think japanese dramas are killing my mind. i was watching some show on tv and i realized i didn't understand any of it because there were no subtitles. (obviously no subs: it was in english). but i didn't understand any of it just by listening! im getting into the mode of not listening to dialogue and just reading. oh no. oh no. but i need to start practice chinese subtitle reading because im going to finish ruri's island with chinese subtitles. i dont want to wait for the english subtitles to be released. or i could just learn japanese. but all i know is from japanese music and i only understand parts when they are talking about their hearts or crying and that other nonsense.

the wind is blowing. quite strongly. blew down a fence. and many trees. probably killed a bunch of animals too. my window is not working. somehow rain still goes through. windowsill is wet. tissues should remedy the problem. until they are soaked. then computer can get fried. because it is right next to window. whatever. happy new year.