yesterday, there was a power surge. and my computer was on. so my monitor started showing billions of artifacts and then my computer crashed and then i had to shut it down and restart. it was pretty scary. because i dont want anything to fry. and then it turned back on and i was quite happy because it worked well. except now. my mouse is all screwed up. so mouse got destroyed in the power surge. and now it double clicks whenever i single click. it is really annoying. bahbhabah. becuase when im trying to click on a program or something it opens two of them. and it always minimizes windows when i click on windows on the task bar. or whatever it is called. need a new mouse.

this rain is really depressing. i dislike the rain. well, at least this rain. its really annoying and loud. and makes everything wet. good observation, abraham. since when did rain not make things wet? when life is an umbrella. duh. or a raincoat thing. maybe rainboots. but definately not what it normally is. this rain makes everything so dull and black and white. and all the colors and hues are disappearing. and i dont want to work in school anymore. but i must. school is really discouraging. i need to reformat my computer. and maybe all my grades. start over again. that would be nice. but i cant. because the past is the past. and i cant change it. it would be nice to be able to. but then everyone would do that. and there would be no mistakes. and everyone would be perfect. and then we'd all be robots and we would feast on oils and grease and fossil fuels. but life would be good like that anyways. yes. i am so happy. i want to go drown in the rain. bye.

i watched that black and white movie today. good night and good luck. or someting like that. and its black and white. and its annoying. and it looked too real and i disliked it. and it was about mccarthyism and the communists and all that nonsense. and i dont care because i dont want to remember the evil days of ap us history. it was bad.

i f331 50 w45t3d: goddamn you
i f331 50 w45t3d: you quote my gayest quotes
i f331 50 w45t3d: and make me look like an ultra nerd

the most searched word people use to find my site is still "stalker". so i am just writing to say the word "stalker" because then more people might find my site from the word "stalker" and then google and yahoo might start to take notice. and they might boost my ranking on the results for the word "stalker" to be number 1 or something close to that. and then everyone that searches the word "stalker" will suddenly be on my site. and i will be so popular. and ill have billions of stalkers. yay. 21 "stalker" searches in the month of february so far. geez. that is like. almost 1 a day.

i'm glad i gave up the hope of going to dir en grey's LA show. because. theres a lot of rumors that it has been cancelled. tickets for the LA show were supposed to go on sale today, but nothing is happening. and people are saying that the venue doesn't even know that dir en grey booked that place. so yea. its not even on ticketmaster.com either. only the new york show is on ticketmaster. and that sold out in presale. ha. i win.

i am not taking good care of my body. sitting in front of computer too much. need to move. i walked. and i also jumped up and down in place for a long time. for no reason at all. and break is boring.

i f331 50 w45t3d: i game too much
i f331 50 w45t3d: i look at the sky
i f331 50 w45t3d: and i go omg great graphics
i f331 50 w45t3d: the clouds
i f331 50 w45t3d: there's subsurface scattering
i f331 50 w45t3d: and i go wait
i f331 50 w45t3d: this is real life GODDAMNIT

i like how it is already thursday. and i haven't really achieved much. finished english homework. finished some other work in classes. i need to start searching for pictures of people to draw in art. because i was going to do dir en grey's lead singer, but then it was a bad picture. teacher thinks the face mask thing looks like a beard. so eh. need to search for better pictures. what else? i dont know. oh yea. the dir en grey livejournal community is really annoying now. everyone is posting asking if anyone else is going to the new york concert and seeing if they can get rides and if they can walk together to hotel and asking stupid questions like if they should cosplay when they are going to go into a 10000 degree room and pass out and die. bunch of stupid spoiled kids flying from around the country with their parents to see dir en grey. i'm so jealous.

this is a screenshot from the new windows. apparently, it kills a lot of computer resources and then it says it is running slowly because of itself. i want to downgrade to windows 98. or windows 95. because they are not so buggy. and use less computer resources. well, windows should stop having such crazy graphics because that is annoying. dos is a cool operating system. no graphics. just text. i love dos. sometimes i use dos to navigate folders. instead of clicking around, i just type it all in.

rofl. dir en grey's new york show sold out in presale. like within a few hours. har. that is so crazy. just like how rammstein tickets never get sold normally. because they always sell out during presale. but i dont think it has beaten l'arc~en~ciel's 56000 person concert selling out in 4 minutes. har. people are funny. ive never woken up so early to buy tickets before. for d'espairsray, i let my neighbor wake up at 5 to get 3rd row tickets. har. im lazy.

so this morning i got up and was ready to work hard. so i turned on my computer and was ready to do homework. and then my mom came in and said i sit in front of computer too much so she doesn't want me to go on the computer. so i obey. and now i am back on the computer. but i dont feel motivated to work hard anymore. poor me.

i have this really annoying habit of collecting discographies. its really annoying. because ill find a new artist/band and then i have to get everything. usually i only get album discographies but now im trying to get single discographies also. so i have like duplicate files of a bunch of songs. hm. and now female singers are like taking over my music library. spangle call lilli line, mondialito, yui, yellow generation, kaela kimura, love psychedelico, plastic tree. well, plastic tree doesn't really have a female singer. but his voice so high he might as well be female. (he already dresses up female anyways). its weird. teehee. tokyo jihen (shiina ringo's band) is releasing a new dvd. the album they just released was called "adult" so the dvd is going to be called "adult video". how clever. i bet their sales will boost a lot because of this.

i like how everyone is gone. very gone. life is so empty. nothing to do now. oh. where is everybody? having lives probably. nothing to do now. bye.

are you there?

edit: OMG 4 people online. its a record!

[tetsu4482] can some one tell me a badass jap band
[kyankyan] morning musume is the most badass jrock band ever

ROFL. it has repeated. please refer to 9/08/05 post. thanks.

hihowistheday: I am done studying for ta

damn. neighbor cant go to the dir en grey concert. if she went i would have asked her to buy me lots of tour goods and stuff. she said she would have called me during the concert so i could listen to the concert through her cell phone. but she is not going. so i cant really hear it. sad.

i watched GTO again. its amazing. but i really need to watch more other drams. oh yea. i finished Trick. which is a pretty cool mystery drama thing. its just solving a bunch of magic tricks and stuff. its fun. need to watch Hotman. then Hotman 2. and Trick 2. watch Trick 3? maybe. need to find a living download for that. enough mindless writing. time to finish all my homework so i can collapse and die and sleep forever.

that was an interesting ditch day. quite a failure. because of people like me. i'm such a conformist so i went to school. only about 5 people in each period were missing. so its a failure. and its a crazy rainy day so its even worse. oh well. break now! one week of nothing.

ha. screw it. it's impossible.

in other news: math 78 has officially become the class for me to study japanese kanji and chinese characters. because i usually sit next to two fobs. max and jiang.

hm. neighbor wants me to go with her to dir en grey concert in LA. she wants to fly airplane. about $200. for airplane tickets. is it worth it? hmmm..

+$29 ticket
+taxi to get to venue
-lots of sleep

of course.
its always worth it.

but i am so poor.

WHY A THURSDAY!?G RGUWHG

OMG! dir en grey finally announced their american tour! well, not really tour. 3 places. texas sxsw or whatever show thing. and new york city. and los angeles area, california! which means. they are going to be 328.7 miles away from me! its march 23. which is a thursday. somehow i must go! lets see. school gets out at 1:34 for me. i should be able to drive there at 7:00 which is when doors open. hm. need to average 60 mph to get there exactly on time. hm. can drive fast on that straight highway anyways. then assuming concert ends at 12. then i can drive back to san jose. and then go to school in the morning. maybe sleep a couple hours. it works! gas will cost about $80 for both ways. hm. very good! i will do it. actually ill just go wait in line right now. because its open seating. so need to get there as fast as possible. im going to go camp out. so screw school for a month. har. omg. must go. somehow.

rofl. a review of the textbook that we're using in math 78:

"This book is absymal. There is no other way to put it. It boggles the mind to think that this text ever made it print. The concepts in DiffEq are really not that hard, but this book cannot even explain simple concepts eloquently -- and I am a Math major.
If you are Math faculty member that has any decision making powers, I strongly urge you to choose ANY other book. Choosing this book for your DiffEq class will devalue the quality of education provided by your University. IT IS THAT BAD."

school is stupid because its so confusing. school is stupid because it is miserable. whenever i study, i always fail. whenever i dont study, i do well. but i cant just not study at all. i cant just stop caring. because i still fail. doesn't make sense. teachers always say they grade on effort. but really, how do people measure effort? it just ends up being whoever looks better anyways. an artistic person can make something beautiful without spending any time or energy. does that mean they should fail? it should. but they still do well. nonsense. there needs to be a defined way of grading. i dont believe in grey. there is only black and white. right and wrong. thought is useless. just creates problems. and conflict. it is annoying when i actually try to write something meaningful and then person bullshits some random crap and gets a better grade. bah.

china was pretty cool yesterday. in olympics. owned the two person iceskating thing. not really. just got 2,3,4 places. and 2nd place was pretty cool. because the guy threw the girl for some trick but she kind of screwed up and fell down on her knee and then slid into the wall and then was pretty much dead. but they continued and then they got 2nd. yea.

and i think those sports commentators are really annoying. is that what they are called? well, the people that just keep talking through the whole show. they keep saying things like "wow. that was wonderful" "marvelous" "beautiful" "such great sportsmanship!". but they dont really contribute much. bah.

and ive decided to upgrade (read: downgrade) to aim triton even though it sucks. its going to be different without my orange on black font that ive had since like 6th grade. but! theres always time for change. and i need that. but aim triton is good because it puts all aim windows in one window with tabs. hm. i guess i could have done that with dead aim. but blah. aim is so colorful now. its ugly. i hate it. but i will deal.

i f331 50 w45t3d (8:25:43 PM): the only 2 anniversaries i'll celebrate in my life are getting married and fry's
i f331 50 w45t3d (8:25:53 PM): though the fry's one is more certain

Do you want to look pretty? How about blue fish? Ocean fish is pretty, isn't it? It would be nice if you hollow out the inside and wear that. It's certainly pretty, and it's blue! In my mind, the blue fish has died. It said goodnight. It didn't have a reason to say goodbye. You pig. Stop eating starving kittens. It should be a crime. He doesn't approach girls. He stuffs them in ventilators and chews on their hearts. Once someone gave me chocolates, but they didn't taste very good, so i threw them away. Please count 1,2,3 a little louder please. I can't really hear you well enough. Go home. April is the season of Sakura. Cherry blossoms. But not really cherries. Rabbit is on the moon. Maybe it should drown. This should be a song. I am a very talented poetryist. or poet.

i was checking up on new asian music releases. and then i saw this korean album. it was a funny description. well. i thought it was funny.

"Yay her new album! Harisu's music is upbeat nice pop music really great stuff. Harisu is also a model and an actress she is very popular in Korea and I think also in China. She is very beautiful and I think she is only famous because she use to be a man."

harhar. anyways. dir en grey's new fanclub only limited dvd set thing is called "bootlegged". so people are so afraid to buy it. even if it is real, because its bootlegged. but it looks really cool. has live shows from germany and stuff. blah blah. no one cares.

life is dull and i dont want to write.

i know it is not valentines day yet. but i know i will forget to post this in two days.



yay. he is giving his heart to you. ha. now im going to eat your liver and chew up the rest of your internal organs. yum yum.

tomoyasu hotei is pretty funny guy. he did that famous song "battle without honor or humanity" for kill bill. anyways. he got expelled from high school because he had long hair. they weren't allowed to have long hair back then but thats probably not the main reason. apparently, he tried to defend his having long hair by saying jesus had long hair. and so he got expelled. and now hes one of japan's legendary guitarists. harhar.

sadies was the most interesting thing. first time ever doing studio pictures. still dont know how it works. but whatever. and then the dj was so cool. because he played metallica and that kelly clarkson girl. and tried to be cool with that scratching stuff. and then he fit in with that 80's sadies theme. 80s music. so everyone boycotted and stood outside. and then they would play whatever modern music is played now and everyone went back in. and then it went back to 80s music and everyone left. really left. so went home early and watched battle royale with alice. yay.

hi. i am in physics right now. people are so lame. reading their own xangas. looking at the pictures that they post. then asking other people to come look at their cool pictures and having others read their posts, because they are so vain. too bad they criticize their own pictures to death. they should stop posting pictures that they dont like. and then they say they love their pictures and they scroll back in time and view more pictures. and then they are like "ohh!! so cute!!>!>". ughgh. it is sickening. the pictures dont mean anything either. just a bunch of upclose pictures of their faces. bahbah. and they really need to learn how to resize their pictures. it lags the entire school internet from downloading those huge pictures that screw up the internet explorer window. i want to go home. 10 minutes left.

hi everybody. i would like to come here today to tell you that i do not believe in the number 24. a day still exists. but there is no 24 hours. there is no 24th hour because the number doesn't exist. it starts with the 0th hour and then to 23 and then to 0 again. what happened to 24!? because it doesn't exist. of course. therefore. i dont know.

i was thinking about previous post and i realized. there is one artist that actually got support from fans when he was indie and going major. he is miyavi. isn't that strange? not being called a sell-out? yea. but then people that actually like miyavi's music are pretty strange.

my grades are pretty cool right now. -,B,C,D,-. so if i get an A in math 78 and an F in physics, i can get all the letter grades! yay. i wonder if colleges would like that. it would be pretty cool.

eh. im listening to female fronted screamo right now. its actually quite interesting. i wonder why i dont hear much of that around. i guess its only in japan. rin toshite shigure. good group of screamy japanese girls plus some random boy. im not really sure of their lineup because they are indie. they have potential to be major though. but then people will complain that they suck becuase they "sold out" and then they will lose support when they go major. which doesn't really make sense. people are stupid. like people hated mucc because they started making money. i guess people like poorer bands. but then they are just blind because this world is capitalistic. and money is the only thing that people care about. no one cares about music. its just money. money money money.

today, in art class, art teacher walked out of the room before class started. just like he always does. except he was gone for a long time. like 20 minutes. so we were all sitting there in the room painting and waiting. but after about 15 minutes classmates decided to create some plan to escape the classroom and leave. since they believe that if teacher isn't there for 15 minutes, students can leave. (never really knew if that was true). so anyways. teacher appears right we they wanted to leave. so we had to be stuck with art. lame isn't it.

i was trying to think of a topic to write about because life is dull and all. so i was typing in random things into yahoo. so i typed the word "random" into the search and at the top it says "Also try: random chuck norris facts, random chuck norris jokes, ..." so chuck norris is pretty cool. and the first result is random.org. which supposedly creates a genuine random number. not the algorithms that are used in calculators. because that is not random enough. this is true randomness. its pretty cool. second result was "shashin" (photo in japanese) and its some photography website. pretty cool pictures except that i reject art now. my scanner broke. sad sad.

i wonder if actors really mean what they say in movies. i doubt it. but they say such good things. i guess. like inspirational things and cool ways to view life and other stuff. but i doubt they really live that way. like. i was watching hotman and the main character says something about smoking killing vitamin c. and then the same actor is in gto. and hes smoking a lot. so eh. maybe he quit smoking sometime after gto and then had a realization or something. eh. i dont know.

eh. site is back. apparently the webhosting changed nameservers without telling me. so yea. its annoying to do homework. so i will not. i ripped my pants. so i stapled them.

life is so annoying and it is such a complex problem, with imaginary numbers and everything. for example. today i learned that math 78 might be cancelled because of the lack of students. theres 15 right now. 12 from leland. and 3 from san jose city college. originally 5, but 2 dropped on the first day. and then the other 3 didn't show up today. and a bunch of leland students dont go anyways. so on any given day (not the quiz or test days), there are about 10 people. yea. so san jose city college wants to cancel the class. but i dont know whether to support or be against it. if its cancelled, then i will have less work. which is good because i dont want to work this semester. but! if it is cancelled, then i have to notify all the colleges i apply to and tell them this class was cancelled. which is a hassle and im lazy and it'll probably lower my already low acceptance probability. so this idea of cancelling this class is a problem and both sides of the problem are caused by laziness. too lazy to work and too lazy to notify colleges. therefore, school sucks. (a continuation my current blog theme of school sucking).

school is so. ugh. wtf. i feel like i have so much to do. but i dont. and i dont do what i have to do. so everything is bad. sigh sigh. a meaningless post. but still a post.