i think the reason why i like japanese music is because japanese people are capitalistic pigs. because to them business is war and so i guess music is also war to them. that is why they always spit out new singles and albums so quickly. and their stuff cant be bad so they always have to make new different musics. and i think that is nice because its harder to get bored of bands. because they have different stuff. and theres a surplus of it. so yay. so its constantly evolving fast. even ayumi hamasaki is like hardcore gangsta rap now. not really, but shes so r&b now. (wtf!?) oh well. and they have this rating thing for how well an album of single sells during the week. and bands/artists usually have to make it in the top 100 or they risk losing their contract. so they have to make quality musics! (unless their names are boa or koda kumi and have fake boobs and unstable asses, then they can just appeal to something else that is not the ears.). like ayumi hamasaki's debut album didn't even hit top 100, so she was dropped from her record label. harhar. pwned. so she started being 1337 and now pwns japan. so yea.

does america even list their record sales and stuff? from what i know, its not a big thing here. and theres this 'equal opportunity' thing here. so everyone can all have their chance at making crap. and they dont get dropped because they suck. because theres no charts that actually show they suck. have you ever seen that nickelback thing where they played one of their songs on the left speaker and another one of the songs on the right speaker and it sounds like a perfectly normal song? because its like almost the same exact song. so american bands can get away with releasing the same crap twice! zomg! maybe i'm overgeneralizing. but eh. american songs all seem the same. they always continue off their success. like they all find a successful way to play and then keep playing that. yes, i know there are changes. but it takes forever. like slipknot did change from their angry screamy stuff to emo sit around a campfire and cry stuff. and thats just a change because a bunch of emo bands are successful by doing that, so they bandwagoned.

sometimes i wonder why people always complain about change in dir en grey. like dir en grey used to be pop. then they went all weird. and suddenly ended up being compared to marilyn manson and slipknot and co. people always complain. but theres a lot of other bands that change a lot also. like shiina ringo/tokyo jihen. she started off being weird pop. and then suddenly shes yelling through a megaphone. sampling lots of random instruments. and then playing with an orchestra. suddenly playing jazz. she has more dramatic changes than dir en grey. but the most complainy ive seen a person be is like "i hate how they played 'service' at the domestic virgin tour" (which btw, the whole band put down their instruments and sang a capella through megaphones.) huh. whatever. im still exhausted from stats.

wow. 6 hours of stats practice. mmm. so much fun. my brain is fried.

HxaMaxH: u kno whos name is 1337 in kanji?
me: gackt?
HxaMaxH: no
HxaMaxH: zhang ziyi
HxaMaxH: L!
HxaMaxH: cuz its real kanji
HxaMaxH: not bootleg like all japs

what is this!? dir en grey AND shiina ringo! on the same music tv thing at the same time!??!?! omgomg. february 5, 1999. dir en grey played zan and shiina ringo played kokode kiss shite. omg. i wish i wasn't in 5th grade back then.

today i drove barefoot. its a remarkably exciting new experience. a totally new perspective on life.

i think i am still suffering from the trauma of crappy harddrives failing. in my dream last night, i dreamed that my ipod harddrive started clicking and it fell apart. sigh. good thing ipod harddrives are not made by western digital. or else i would REALLY be scared of this happening. well, i think they aren't made by western digital. maybe its power of suggestion. so if i think they are made by western digital, then they will fall apart. oh well.

today i went dir en grey hunting. went to the closest hot topic to see if they had the dir en grey stuff that they are supposed to have soon. but apparently not! so i walked around and looked in the other music stores. which dont exist. but suddenly i heard dir en grey's "the final" playing somewhere. and i was like "omg where is it!?" and then i walked around and finally found the store! just kidding. i didn't hear anything. so i went home and im SO GLAD that dir en grey isn't in the states yet because i can still listen to dir en grey without having annoying new fans that dont know anything about dir en grey. and no one will ever hear about them so i can be so cool and helLa undErgr0und and whatever. bah. if you didn't know that was sarcasm then go drown yourself. did you know that sarcasm is the protest of those that are weak? i didn't know that. but apparently it says that in 'a separate peace' so i guess people like me are really weak. i dont remember that book very well. (in fact, i think i failed the test on it in sophomore year.) but! maybe that quote was sarcasm. so the sarcastic are really strong! or not. because life is so awesome. whatever. im never sarcastic. i am strong.

omg 3 day week. 2 days of star testing which i dont need to go to. yay i win. need to study for stats ap. and finish art ap junk. get slides made for about $150 (!!!). i better pass then. that class is stealing my money. i pay like $20 for lab fees. and then i pay like $90 for the portfolio submission thing. and then ANOTHER $150 to be able to submit this junk as slides. and i still need to pay $25 to get 5 pictures made into prints. wow. and im not even guaranteed a passing grade. i think all art people should be guaranteed a pass. because its art and you cant judge art. and it would be a waste of money if one fails. so everyone should pass. judges should keep this in mind. poor people are spending lots of money to be able to pass a class so they dont have to pay a lot to take a stupid art class in college. i guess. but whatever! i got my limited edition shiina ringo "shousou strip" album! its pink and has cool photos inside! has shiina ringo with a monkey on her shoulder and shes sharing a cigarette with the monkey. teehee. im so happy. i can have a high quality rip of this album now. mmmm. now 1 more shiina ringo album left to get. too bad that one is impossible to find.

VISITOR Q. one of takashi miike's most famous movies. shot in 7 days with barely any budget. and somehow miike can make the craziest film ever. its only 84 minutes long. but omg. okay. story is about a disfunctional family and they are REALLY disfunctional. daughter is a hooker, and even does it with her dad. and complains that his dad cant do it long enough. mom is a crack whore. and son beats his mom because he gets beaten at school. and dad is just a failure at life. so they are having problems and this guy named q. not really named q. i guess hes just called q because the movie is called visitor q. and q just comes in and fixes everything. kind of. so basically dad accidentally kills a girl when hes raping her. and somehow everything is fine. except the dad has fun with the dead body, but his big mistake was he did the girl before rigor mortis. so suddenly he was stuck. and then he had to call his wife over to help him. q also helped. and yea. something clicks and they all love each other. i think the message of the movie is to make me glad i dont live in a fucked up family like that. its a really nice movie if you think of it that way. i think. or maybe im just twisted for watching the movie in the first place. but whatever. and quoted from a review: "They may have developed a liking for murder and necrophilia along the way, but at least they love each other again." anyways. im going to go vomit now.

who would have thought the library would have japanese music cds!? well, i never knew it would. and not even the huge mlk library. its the small local one! and its not even mainstream japanese stuff. its like. indie to the max. its so indie, its not even japanese music from japan. its like indie japanese people from around here. i bet its even a local japanese band. huh. so indie that their record label only has like 2 employees. it even says so in the insert. so indie that their website is on angelfire. roflmao. here. go visit it. (theres no navigation on site btw.) yea yea. so whatever. i borrowed that from the library today. and also fruits basket soundtrack. or something. that anime. but i could care less about the anime. just needed some japanese. very excited. not really.

go watch fearless. its the new jet li movie. all i learned from that movie is that china is cool. and japanese people always play dirty. cheaters.

HxaMaxH: rofl
HxaMaxH: i was thinking
HxaMaxH: wat if gackt and zhang ziyi got married
HxaMaxH: their kid is gona b perfect

so today is 4/20. which is. hitler's birthday. and the columbine day. and i guess that marijuana day. so! i celebrated! by watching zebraman. its a really cool movie by takashi miike. but it doesn't really seem like it. because takashi miike usually makes bloodbath movies that all seem low budget because all the money is spent on the buckets of fake blood. but zebraman is about a loser teacher who spends his time dreaming that he is some superhero named zebraman. because zebraman used to be a tv show and in that tv show zebraman fought aliens. so he was that teacher's hero. and then. suddenly all the aliens start coming to the world. and they are cute little green globs that can form together and make bigger aliens. and so zebraman comes to save the world! yay. its really funny because the missle that the police were going to use to blow up the aliens had "made in usa" written on it. its like america screws everything up. harhar. and japanese people are weird because they say 'white black' instead of 'black white'.

OMFGMWGLMR. KORN AND DEFTONES AND (VERY HIGH POSSIBILITY) DIR EN GREY. ON FAMILY VALUES TOUR!. oWRWWRKLGWR. from mtv.com: [Rounding out the mainstage lineup will be Stone Sour, Flyleaf and Dir En Gray, who Davis described as "this crazy Japanese band that are just out of their minds."] (wow spell dir en grey wrong please. the e and g should be lower-case and a should be e. omgmg. whatever.) a revival of family values! the first family values had rammstein! oagwlhrkgjwlkg. they are coming to sacramento. which is 3 hours away. but eh. maybe it will be a weekend during school! and then it will only be like 1.5 hours away. omgomg. family values starts july 27 in virginia. so it should have plenty of stops before coming to california. omgomg. so excited. and it wont be the new horrible korn songs! they will play at least one old song! which would be wicked, because it was a collab with deftones. and they are touring together. so zomg. $10 tickets too. wow.

uop sucks omg. okay so i finally decided to use my uop email and make myself a college facebook. and so under music i have jrock listed. and then when i click on it, it will find people with the same interest of jrock. so i click. and wow wtf. only 3 other people!? i check dir en grey and theres only 2 other people! and they are all random white people. and i think one was some indian guy. well, there was some asian girl. but wow! no people that listen to jrock. theres more white boys that listen to jpop. which is awkward. no one listens to post-rock. and 1 person listens to noise. huh. i just put noise down for fun. but someone listens to that!? i wonder what noise is. probably just music that sounds like static. whatever. anyways i can go to uop and be so cool listening to the unknown music. and im so un-mainstream. hella cool. im a nonconformist now. whatever.

dir en grey sucks. they cant even unify all their fans. division between what dir en grey era was the best. division between whether they are mainstream or not. division between whether they should even come to america. divison between whether hot topic is lame. the biggest problem with dir en grey is that they are a bunch of fat teenage white girls and go to hot topic to buy goth/emo stuff. but they cant stand seeing dir en grey merchandise at hot topic. huh. whatever im hella indie now. with the lack of dir en grey support at uop. so i dont care about what they think. cry cry.

"Dir en grey came to Chiappardi's attention when its management company, Free-Will Japan, and Warcon were discussing distributing each other's titles in their respective countries. He says some think he's crazy for giving the band's album "Withering to Death" -- which Warcon will release May 16 -- a shot, but he feels Dir en grey's melodies and visuals, plus its ability to get across its emotions, was powerful enough to overcome the language obstacle. He points to German act Rammstein as an example of a band that's been able to do just that."

teehee.

wow wtf. stfu about how the world will end if dir en grey cds and clothing starts getting sold at hot topic. wow omg mainstream hella sucks omg. wowow. it hella ruins dir en grey's music. and clothing. wow emo kids cant cry along to dir en grey anyways. so stfu. omg. annoying dir en grey fans. its easier and cheaper to buy all that merchandise if its all at hot topic. not that $30/album nonsense. because american standard of living is hella low apparently. whatever.

"The ecstatic response has put Dir En Grey in the enviable position of a likely support spot on 33 dates of Korn's summer tour..."
from billboard.com. very exciting. korn and dir en grey?! yes! dir en grey! and korn just for old times sake. this rumor thing better be true.

"This is the most random thing ever...but I can't see myself ever listening to these bands...not because they look bad, though... Just...'cause...oO; "

"Just 'cause... There're actual female members in the band? Don't be an ass."

roflmao at japan.

huh. everyone is putting "[some school] class of 2010" in their profiles now. so what "class of 20##" am i? going to uop 3+3 year pharm program thing. so i could be class of 2009. or i could be class of 2012. i guess 2012. but! what if i get below a b- average and then i fail my interview, so i cant get into the actual pharm school (the 2nd 3 years). so the 2nd 3 years is not certain. which means i would only be 2009. huh. and how do i know i can get out of the first 3 years alive? how does everyone else know they are going to graduate in 2010?!? i dont even know if i can graduate high school as class of 2006 because senioritis owns my life. huh. i guess i'll say im class of whatever after i graduate. not before i graduate. certainty is important. i think.

i feel really guilty for not doing homework over break. i have a lot. i think. but whatever. this week will be a good week. another takeshi kitano movie. KIKUJIRO. its about a little boy who lives with his grandmother. and one day he finds an address of his mom. so he goes off to try to see her. since hes never seen her before. and so since hes a little boy, the neighbor tells her husband to go with the little boy. and they go on an adventure. and encounter a lot. and this is a good story. like really. its like. life. beautiful. anyways. it actually made me understand takeshis' more. because that previous movie was a bunch of tributes to his old movies. and now i get like 1/30th more! yay. next movie: hana-bi! this week will be takeshi kitano's.

today i cleaned my bathroom mirror. so i can camera whore and be cool now.

okay. so i watched takeshis'. by takeshi kitano. aka beat kitano. beat is his actor name and takeshi is the director name. so he did both. (he's the teacher in battle royale. if you didn't notice). basically. the movie is about the famous takeshi kitano's life. basic story: actor takeshi kitano is very famous. like he is in real life. and acts like how the people see him as. one day he meets another takeshi kitano. number 2 is some poor guy that looks the same (and is acted by same guy). and he is a big fan of the actor takeshi. and then it goes on in some long story about fantasy and surrealism. and its really confusing. because its like wtf!? what life is this!? some parts are the famous one. some parts are the unfamous one. and some parts are the famous one acting a movie. and some parts are the unfamous guy dreaming. and some parts are the famous one dreaming. and yea. but it all comes together in the end. and this is kitano's most artsy film in the world. im not a crazy kitano fan but apparently everything in this movie is a reference from a previous movie. so i got kind of lost. and. yea. anyways artsy. like gunfire suddenly being constellations in the sky. and weird stuff. kitano must have gone really crazy. i know that most of his movies after his almost fatal accident were all artsy. but this is like. beyond artsy. wow. anyways. go watch it. actually dont. unless you like to see really random samurai pop out on the beach and get blown up by machine guns.

so explain to me what was wrong in brave new world. it seemed like a perfectly fine world to me. there were no problems. everyone was happy. and everyone liked what their lives were destined to do. whats the only thing missing? individuality, i guess. but really. is individuality really THAT important? hm. i dont think so. so eh. and animals live with no individuality. life is good for them. and dont say it must be bad if there are people that are against it. theres always people that need to be exiled. like even in this democracy, there are still anarchists and communists. and all those other people. eh. so lets start cloning. and creating soma happy pills. and thats why im going to be a pharamacist. (not really).

wow. art teacher has guts to call my house. and say that i should come in after school tomorrow to work on art portfolio. because he cant make the day he planned before. (which was star9 day.) wow. plan your schedule out more please. kthx. and school is lame about ditching school tomorrow. need doctors note or something or else its unexcused. its career day! my future is all set and i am not changing. so bah. and i put engineering back then. so i bet im going to get some engineering speaker and ill be like l!OL!L!L!.

anyways. i got tokyo jihen's awesome new dvd thing. it is like pure sex. not really. but its great. especially in kabuki. yay for electric double bass thing! yatta. and shiina ringo on the megaphone of course.

anyways kaela kimura is cool.

my computer is the most emo thing in the world.

attempted suicides:
-mouse (from playing too much castle game)
-harddrive
-cpu fan (killed cpu and motherboard along with it).
-graphic card fan
-mouse
-harddrive again.

i think hoobastank's "the reason" was the reason i lost hope in all american music. yea. it was around that time.

replaced harddrive. and now i am lacking lots of pictures to work with in art ap. oh well. i was going to attempt to make my entire portfolio with only one trip of shooting photos. i guess now i have to use even older pictures. harhar. i dont want to work. but eh. oh well. good cleanup of computer. whatever. western digital still sucks. i tried the freezing trick thing. freezing trick is sticking the harddrive in the freezer for a few hours and letting everything freeze. since cold makes the metal shrink, running the harddrive when its frozen will be nice and it should work for a few seconds before it crashes again. and a few seconds it was. i got to windows xp. and right before i could copy a file, crash crash!. so western digital sucks. the end.

FUCK YOU WESTERN DIGITAL
wtf. make shittier harddrives more please. i had some wd harddrive like many years ago and it died a few years ago. then it was under warranty so i sent it back and it was replaced. and then it died again! wtf. OMG> and this is my main harddrive too! with operating system and my essay and art shit and everything. western digial sucks. AUGHGHHRWLKJgkwrglkwrglwkrg. suicide is the proof of life. and so is my harddrive. aughaghagg.

so i was thinking. in english we were talking about whether you want sadness and negative junk in your life. because you cant have true happiness without sadness. which makes sense. everything needs comparison anyways. so everyone in class said that they want bad things. but i thought about it. but theres different levels of happiness. so there can still be comparison and then theres true happiness. but then people can strive for pure happiness. i guess. but then. that creates sadness. but then i guess its not like its possible to have no sadness. so no sadness in the world of only happiness. i think. huh.

okay. so i just bought rammstein's new album. well. in america. it came out long time ago in germany. and i already have the german limited edition version. but whatever. it was cheap in america. so i bought it. and wow! it IS cheap. cheap printing! guh. what a horrible thing. america is stupid. give me cheap paper. and barely any ink on the paper. sigh.

japanese people have bad teeth. its good though. because if playing japanese music really loud and it is a high quality rip of the music, then teeth can be heard. like the whistling sounds that happen when teeth are crooked. its only a little though. but for laughs. here is number girl's singer.



sexy teeth. hes really funny. because he looks all nerdy and old. but hes making this weird awkward rock music. i dont like number girl much. but sometimes they are catchy. they are too indie for me. the end.

hi everybody. my dad walked into my room today and saw my shiina ringo wallpaper and thought she was my girlfriend. of course she is my girlfriend because i know japanese girls that are 10 years older than me. (and a japanese person with straight teeth! so rare!) yea. that was weird. but it would be cool to meet shiina ringo. she is kind of weird. like really weird. who names their album "karuki zamen kuri no hana" (chlorine, semen, chestnut flower)!?!?! shiina ringo does!

i dont like classes like english because people always say opinions are always right if one can back it up. but i dont want to back it up! i just want the single correct answer! if everything is correct, then nothing is wrong. and that just causes more conflict. everyone should agree on one thing. more stability please. suggestion of ideas that are all correct is stupid. too bad not everyone agrees. so that is why everything is right and wrong. and thats why i dont participate. and thats why i suck. and fail.

stats is very fun. because 68% or something around there on the ap test to get a 5. too bad i dont think i can even get that. because stats is like english and everything needs to be backed up and nonsense. and theres grey areas and nonsense. like 4.9% is pretty much 5.1%. too bad one rejects hypotheses and one doesn't. so i dont think its very math like. its like another english class.

art is like english. well obviously. its all opinion. so i dislike. especially retard art. which is whatever art teacher recommends me to do. he wants me to show "development" in my portfolio by moving towards the abstract. so therefore it is like englih.

physics is like english. even though it actually has correct answers(!!!), teacher doesn't know what they are. because we dont have a teacher really. he just proctors and uses answer keys that computer prints out. the computer is our real teacher. i think.

i guess that only leaves math 78 which is differential equations. this class actually has correct answers which makes it awesome. too bad its 0 period and i am too sleepy to realize this great fact.

and thats why i fail school.
and life.
and everything.
i hope i dont get my admission revoked.

i wonder how music video directors find so many people to be part of the crowd in those videos where the band is just playing in front of a huge crowd. i wonder if those people are paid a lot. all they have to do is act crazy. i think.

See, it makes no sense, but it doesn't have to. That is the beauty of it. Other people aren't artistic enough to get it. Ability is for conformists. Studio time is for sell outs. You love vinyl. The dark sun burns my eyes. My heart sinks. Are you there? Sad Clown. Guys, you too can now wear girl's jeans. They are the clunky black Point Dexter frames that until a few years ago were worn exclusively by kids who spent most of their time in Math labs slaving over double integrals. Now it is chic, so it is ok. [random song lyric that has absolutely nothing to do with anything at the moment]. Go cry about it in your diary. I'm going to be a vegan until I die, or until I get a job, whichever comes first. It is a crime against humanity that she likes the same music you like. I disagree. That's not a question.

sometimes i wish i was brave. then i could walk into art class tomorrow and tell the teacher "its not my fault you dont know how to manage time efficiently, so im not coming after school. kthx." and leave. but im not that brave. so i have to go after school. guh.

omg. all the japanese artists are all coming to america now! first dir en grey. and i couldn't go to that one because it was in la and was a school day. and now. hyde! coming to SAN FRANCISCO. im not a big fan of hyde. but omg its hyde. lead singer of l'arc~en~ciel!!! which is like japans biggest rock band. kind of. but sihgahghagg. july 5th! which means im gone IN TAIWAN!! UGHAHGG. misery! but. i can celebrate gackt's birthday in taiwan! its on july 4. harhar. omg. and i dont think i can go to dir en grey concert because plane tickets is quite expensive. but omg. hyde's concert here is sold out anyways. sold out in 3 minutes. rofl. i didn't even know about it.

ayumi hamasaki is jpop queen. (well, she was. i think some other jpop person has taken over the scene). but she is also a wikipedia conquerer. like. she has a billion entries on wikipedia. she has her own page for her discography. and her own page for all her remixes. because shes so popular. and people actually made a page for every single one of her singles and albums. and has image and everything. i bet it takes up a lot of wikipedia space. people are crazy. and ayumi hamasaki pwns the japan. because she is now the record for most singles that place number 1. yatta. and i did not know that she was a sex symbol. i think thats wrong. because wikipedia can be wrong. yea. because ayumi isn't that great looking. so yea. huh.

hey guys! today is april fools day! so go check the schools you got rejected from! roflrofl. unless you're a perfect kid. then go stick your head in a bowl of water. maybe water wont enter your lungs on this spectacular day.