my super power is the ability to see through glass.

now the guy is crying pretty loudly through the microphone. emo mexican music.

i mean. FUCKING loud.

they are going to be here until 9.

and it is freaken loud.

a latino club or something setup right next to dorm building and is playing loud mexican music. and my windows are making weird sounds.

so apparently people do share supercar on uop's dc++, which is pretty cool. now i need more of those people.

5 weeks of school are over apparently.

i wonder what people think of that post i posted before. i wonder if people thought it was emo or something. or if they thought happy thoughts. i would think its so depressing. but when i wrote it but i wasn't thinking anything sad. so that doesn't make any sense. if something posted is sad, people think its sad. and if its something happy, people still think its sad. therefore, people are so depressing. and i am very generalizing. is it possible to very generalize? or is it just generalize? whatever. i watched 3 episodes of "wo ai hei se hui" today. which was great fun. its that show in taiwan where stupid schoolgirls do stupid things. like somehow this girl got 8% of 26 million to be 200. harhar. it like that show. i think my favorite one is mian. because she seems the smartest. and she looks like kaela kimura. except chinese. and i need to read.

smile.

i'm sleeping less and less. but that is okay. because it is still a lot. i heated water today. and it evaporated. i like flint striker things that make sparks to start bunsen burners. because it is so beautiful. if i could choose a good present, it would be a huge striker. that makes gigantic sparks. but they have to be plentiful also. i almost overslept today. which is odd. becuase i slept at 12. which is okay, i think. but maybe not really slept at 12. because i have problems sleeping. so i stare at my ceiling. and dream about stupid things. and my mind works better right before i sleep than other times. like today's chem quiz. i cant believe i was so stupid. and forgot to convert milliliters into liters before finding molarity. bah. stupid me. and chem is so important for me. i need to study it and everything. i wonder if i can get a degree, what other majors i can get. probably bio, chem, and then that mba thing. but bah. no engineering, i think. because engineering at uop takes 5 years. stupid. why would anyone want to do engineering here? all uop has is programs. programs for this, programs for that. i wrote that pacific seminar was "pure stupidity" in my pacific seminar essay. and i quoted it and cited correctly. the pacific seminar teacher was like be yourself and express your feelings. writing will be better that way. so i did. and he better not grade me down for that. or i will never trust anyone again. not that i do anyways. but whatever. the end.

i f331 50 w45t3d: he still owes me a win in sc
i f331 50 w45t3d: we lost a game cause he was reading war and peace

Supercar - Last Scene
静かに 静かに ただ静かに 夢を見ている...

i finally found a translation for this song.


The performace passed through "The End" without stopping
The audience is already asleep
A story like a dream
A dance step like a feather

The performance passed through "The End" without stopping
I'm standing alone in the wings
Fading, the finished story
Waiting alone for my turn

In the quiet, in the quiet, in the quiet I'm only dreaming
In the quiet, in the quiet, in the quiet I'm only dreaming

running on a treadmill is symbolism for life. we run so hard. and then at the end we go no where. because we're all dead.

my refrigerator is too cold. its making all the sodas into icees/slurpees. it tastes pretty good. although sometimes it cools it too much and it becomes almost a block of ice. that still tastes pretty good. except it cant get out of the can.

what am i supposed to answer when people ask me why im doing pharmacy? i guess its to help people, right? i think.

roflrofl 安 in chinese means safe/comfortable. and the same thing in japanese means cheap. stupid japanese people cant even steal characters correctly.

what the fuck. why am i involved?

i don't feel anything today.

that is the end of those pictures. i hope you enjoyed them. not. i don't care about your feelings.

i had macroeconomics class cancelled today. so i went back to my room and worked on problem sets.

sometimes i still feel like i should have done some engineering major. because math was my strength. not biology or chemistry or whatever. but now, i don't remember math, so i am good at nothing.

it makes me sad, sometimes.

but then, if i did do engineering, i would regret not doing this. so i guess it was okay to do this.

there is regret either way. so why am i still complaining?

maybe i'll reapply as a transfer. is that even possible?

i have a lot of stupid credits. but would they care about community college classes? i don't think so.

i don't care. the internet keeps dying. so now i can concentrate on my lab report. i experimented and calculated avogadro's number today. it is 5.693x10^23. which is in the same power of 10. so i am pretty proud of myself.

but i still fail at life. because i have no ambition.

how i feel today #7.


is what i just ate.
i feel like vomitting.
really.

anyways. i watched dolls. and it was a great movie. very red.

so apparently theres two malls in stockton. and i went to the small one last time. i went to big one this time. and there was hot topic. so that was okay. but no dir en grey stuff at this hot topic. but they do sell cure magazine, which is the japanese cross dressing magazine. for 15$! its usually 800 yen, which is like. less than 8$. oh well. it will okay. then i went to target. and bought a comb. and a stapler. and a white dress shirt. which is very omg! i think. but i think i need it. because i cant be all dark and emo my whole life. because i'm not, anyways. i think. i hope.

how i feel today #6.


i'm so mean.
picture posts that mean nothing.
and asian posts.
nothing to read these days.

you will need asian character set and some reading to read this.

你好﹐現在很DULL(i dont know the character)。我不知道要寫什麼。
life is pretty dull at the moment. i can't really think of what to write.
the periods in chinese are so much cooler.

こんにちわ、私はたいくつしてる。 私は漢字がDON'T KNOW HOW TO USE. 漢字は中国のことばです。私は日本語が好きじゃないです。
hello, i am bored. i don't know how to use kanji. kanji is chinese words. i don't like japanese (language).

大學沒有很特別不一樣。我喜歡睡覺和...沒有了。大家的中文都很好。大家都很聰明。我不知道那是不是對的字。Oh well。大家都知道他們要但什麼。我還不知道。我想去海邊﹐看天空﹐不要在這裡。怎的很沒意思。我不知道為什麼我在寫中文。我喜歡Spangle Call Lilli Line的歌。好象我在飛。huh。飛飛飛。我不會飛。寫這個發了好多時間丫。哈哈哈。我喜歡用‘丫’的字。好好玩。哈哈哈是hahaha。我今天發現。我在用Wiktionary幫我翻譯這些中文。好cool。好了。我寫了太多了。我不要寫太多。再見。byebye ^^.

i probably won't be able to read what i wrote, eventually.

張文柏

how i feel today #5.


i don't know why i'm drawing these pictures either.

how i feel today #4.


not an actual representation of my feelings today.

how i feel today #3.


is the proof of life?
no, not really.
but chemistry is.
economics also.

how i feel today #2.


ate my eyeballs

its cool getting assignments from teachers at 9:30 PM. due tomorrow. when theres class all day tomorrow.

why are artificial raspberry flavors blue?

the sobe "no fear" energy drink is okay. not enough energy though.

how i feel today #1.

my hero is takeshi kitano. he's some japanese guy. he went to college. and dropped out. and then he became a comedian. and then he became a film director. and made lots of bloody gang movies. and then one day he realized life is important. so he became artistic and made movies that make life great. and then he got super famous. and the college gave him his college degree 34 years later. i want to be like kitano.

this "powerful great taste! power trip/ xtreme energy drink" is a waste of money also. and it is blue coloured. wtf!?

i disagree that we should all be entitled to our own opinions.

sobe adrenaline rush is a weak energy drink. don't buy it.

hanabi is a depressing movie. takeshi kitano makes good movies with few lines of dialogue, long shots of the ocean, lots of quick bloody violence, and great music from joe hisaishi. hanabi is about a cop and his wife dying from leukemia. it features a lot of paintings from kitano. kitano was in an accident and almost died. and this movie is like his life. and his new views of life and death. and its pretty cool. because kitano acts in it. and he acts a life that is so nice and stuff. and there's this other guy that lives like the kitano from before. and he says "ill never be able to live like that". and it seems really symbolic and whatever. but its sad. very sad. i need to see the rest of kitano's movies now. i want to watch dolls next.

the summit sells rockstar 16 oz drinks for $2.39, i think. and it is wonderful. since my meal plan comes with $100 already, i am going to have great fun.

i went shopping in stockton for the first time. its going to be a horrible 6 years here. and i also played badminton. it is fun.

okay, so theres this video from some random band named bullets and octane that is touring with dir en grey on that family values tour. so on their myspace, they posted weekly videos of what has happened so far and stuff. and so sometimes you can see random clips of dir en grey members walking around. playing next to the river. and such like that. but in that video. there was a part where die was drunk. and he said "i'm a fucking rockstar.., bitch." to the camera. and it was pretty funny. so apparently at this other stop, at the meet and greet, die and shinya came out, so about 100 people all shouted "you're a fucking rockstar!" and die got very embarassed and shinya was laughing. harhhahahah.

accomplishments of the day.

-read parts of plato's republic for pacific seminar class.
-took 15 peaches from dining hall during lunch, WITHOUT A BACKPACK!
-converted from itunes to foobar2000.
-spent like 10 hours editing id3 tags of the mp3s because itunes does it a different way. and its messy.
-joined a chinese club.
-did my laundry.
-planning to shave face.
-planning to study.

15 peaches.

i f331 50 w45t3d: happy birthday to you
i f331 50 w45t3d: happy birthday to you
i f331 50 w45t3d: happy birthday, dear hard drive
i f331 50 w45t3d: happy birthday to you
i f331 50 w45t3d: "When the hard drive was first introduced on September 13, 1956, it required a humongous housing and 50 24-inch platters to store 1/2400 as much data as can be fit on today's largest capacity 1-inch hard drives."
i f331 50 w45t3d: LOL
i f331 50 w45t3d: caltech
i f331 50 w45t3d: only at caltech
i f331 50 w45t3d: http://kinakuta.caltech.edu/~rwald/lewis.mp3
i f331 50 w45t3d: techno remix of professor

drinks with no caffeine are no fun.

i f331 50 w45t3d: and now it's 30 GB and 80 GB, how weird!
i f331 50 w45t3d: but omg
i f331 50 w45t3d: the 80 GB is thicker and heavier
i f331 50 w45t3d: MORE VOLUME AND MORE MASSIVE
i f331 50 w45t3d: OMG
i f331 50 w45t3d: THE WORLD IS ENDING
azN xrE taRD BOI: probably not THAT heavy.
i f331 50 w45t3d: THE SKY IS FALLING
i f331 50 w45t3d: um O RLY? try 5.5 FUCKING OUNCES
i f331 50 w45t3d: 15.583333333333333333333333333% MORE MASSIVE THAN 30 GB
i f331 50 w45t3d: 27.9% more volume!!!!!!
i f331 50 w45t3d: WHICH MEANS
i f331 50 w45t3d: 89.5833333333% THE DENSITY
i f331 50 w45t3d: MEANING APPLE IS WASTING SPACE IN THE 80 GB iPod

i am listening to korn again. because i listened to them as a freshmen in high school. so i must listen as a freshmen in college. and it does bring back lots of memories. especially follow the leader album. its like. beautiful to my ears. i need to get the issues album. its funny that korn can make music with "what the fuck!". i think. it is quite cool. i want to be cool like jonathan davis.

rofl this band called deadsy toured at family values in 2001 as a 'headlining band'. and now. in 2006, the family values that i was at, they were like 2nd opening indie band. that is odd. got worse? apparently.

so i have this problem. i usually like my mp3s at a better quality than 128 kbps. preferably 192 kbps or up. so i like to find higher quality music to replace the low quality music. but then. now i found this big group of shiina ringo demos. problem is, they are demos. so that means low quality anyways. and that means 128 kbps! which is horrid! this is such a problem. what shall i do? i guess ill never listen to them. sighsigh. and another problem is that the uop dc++ people dont care about quality of the mp3! so everything is like 128 kbps or LOWER. bah. not that there's anything good to get on that server.

i am addicted to seaweed. it tastes too good.

its okay. really? no, its not. its never okay. you contradict. i do not. i am always correct. so i say whatever is correct. but sometimes i'm wrong, you know? people make mistakes. so i have to correct myself. and then i can say the correct thing. but then that isn't always right. so i just jump on a rainbow. and then i cut apples. i got addicted to seaweed today. okay nevermind. it's not an addiction if i can quit so easily. but i cant quit. its what i have to do. but i wont last a day without you. just kidding. i can always survive. its easy. what is a good society? when everyone is dead, of course. i hate grey areas, you know. black and white is good enough. right and wrong. math is right. math is wrong. not english. not philosophy. so pacific seminar is a mix of english and philosophy. so do two greys make black and white? no, they just make more greys. and that pisses me off. i want something right. people are stupid. they are like omgomgomg i hate this essay because it tells me that i should look at things from all perspectives because he's so cocky and arrogant. but if anyone told them to look things from all perspectives, they would agree. and that essay proves why they should. but they dont want proofs. they just want to agree and conform. because being uncomfortable feels uncomfortable.

CRIKEY!!
Monday. 9.4.06 12:35 am
STEVE IRWIN DIED GUYS

AND HIS WIFE DOESN'T KNOW

AND IT WAS A FUCKING STINGRAY
WTF STINGRAYS ARE THE LEAST BAD ANYTHING EVAR

LITTLE KIDS PET THEM IN AQUARIUMS

SDJGKLKJG
RIP STEVE

sorry thats a little bad i guess. but it was funny.

a window to somewhere

eh. some old picture i made a while ago. it was originally for art ap, but the teacher was like omgomgomg didn't fit in my theme. so no. but i think it was just because he didn't like it. its funny. because apparently he secretly really likes my art portfolio. my sister is in art ap right now, and he doesn't know shes related to me. so he's showing previous years art. and he hated on almost everyone in my class and said that he wouldn't have passed them. i think its funny because he acted like he really liked all their work, when he destroyed every single picture. or so my sister says. oh well.

today i fell asleep in econ class with my head on my hand on my spiral notebook. so when i woke up, i felt like i slit my wrists. and now, even with all the marks gone, it still feels like someone has cut me up from the inside. or something that comes from an emo song. it feels great.

rofl. so i decide to check on l'arc~en~ciel news since i haven't kept up with them after whatever last release they had. and they suck now anyways. and they were all doing their solo projects. tetsu (and ken?) are now in creature creature. tetsu has tetsu69. ken is in sons of all pussys. yukihiro in acid android. and hyde in hyde. so yea. nothing happens much with larc. but i guess they got back together for some fun. planning some huge live or something. and then they re-released 14 singles. and made an old song into a single. and released all of that. so yea. they completely owned the japan charts. its like jolin having 4 out of the top 5. but not.

05位「the Fourth Avenue Cafe」未発売曲
09位「Blurry Eyes」
10位「虹」
11位「flower」
12位「Lies and Truth」
13位「夏の憂鬱[time to say good-bye]」
14位「風にきえないで」
15位「Vivid Colors」
16位「winter fall」
17位「HONEY」
18位「snow drop」
19位「花葬」
20位「DIVE TO BLUE」
21位「浸食～lose control～」
22位「forbidden lover」

but it does seem that larc is just back to steal more money away. because its just 15th l'anniversary or something. probably just do this and go back to their solo projects. just come back to larc when they need some more money. like that one random single. "Link" or something. they had their solo projects. came back and made link. and then disappeared again. and reappear now. oh well.

BeatingIt2Hard: He criticizes my lifestyle and then I ask him if he's ever talked to a girl before.
BeatingIt2Hard: And he walks into his room and closes the door.

f a t s h e e p1: lololol gg
f a t s h e e p1: hallmates are all mixing vodka and drinks in their kitchen
azN xrE taRD BOI: they did hella good in alcoholedu
f a t s h e e p1: more ppl drink due to alcohol prevention programs

i want to fly away.

if i tried to say thank you, it would be goodbye forever.

huh. very confused.

5201314? i don't love you forever.

i really hate pacific seminar class. its so stupid. so we read a 3 page essay thing. and we discussed the meaning of it for over an hour. and we were arguing the main point. which is retarded. because i think the main point of an essay should be pretty obvious. or else it would just be mindless writing. and so we argued, and i don't think we ever figured out the point of the essay. if we're supposed to discuss what a good society is, we're not going to finish in this semester. and its stupid class because all we do is criticize everything. and say this is bad. and that is bad. of course everything is bad. comunism is bad. china is bad. russia is bad. entire asia is bad. cuba can be bad too. the declaration of rights is bad because it's not being followed. because its all bad. and theres no action in philosophy stuffs. everything is bad. but there's no solution. thats the thing that made me not so like 'v for vendetta' because the government sucks. so just blow it up!? solves everything.

and i don't like it when people talk about pursuing your dreams and doing what you like. like yesterday's honor's banquet. the speaker just talked about that!. and it's stupid because it's not very practical. if i could do what i wanted, i would end up with no money. those people that love studying are so lucky. because i dont want to study. and we should do what we want, but they still force us to take all these different classes for something called general education. i don't want to follow my dreams. life is supposed to be miserable.