nothing to do these days. just study. then study more. once monday comes along, everything is over. i think. hopefully. because the monday after that doesn't exist. it is spring break. can go home and do nothing. because no one has spring break at that time. good. i hate everyone anyways. ilove replication forks and dna polymerase.

i wish i was a prokaryote bacteria thing. then my dna would be in a loop or something. and then i wouldn't have that annoying problem of losing some dna everytime it was replicated. good thing eukaryote friends all have some telomeres or something at the ends of dna that is just nonsense that can be lost. too bad i want to be able to replicate infinite times. not only a few times before i start eating into my dna. oh well.

converses suck for the rain. feet are always wet. i am drowning. i need new shoes. too bad i dont want to buy new shoes. costs too much money.

"nobody likes minus signs. they are negative experiences." - physics professor.

finished season one of house! yayayay. okay now i have to go to san francisco for one of my classes. help the homeless and stuff like that. the whole weekend.

sachiko m is a great noise musician! she just has high pitched notes made from feedback or something like that. she plugs in input into output plugs or the other way around. and then theres noises and stuff! its pretty cool. it raises blood pressure a lot. and hurts my ears. and probably destroys my speakers.

today. there was FINALLY calculus in my calculus-based physics class! zomgomgogm. i was so excited when i saw that integral. too bad the professor doesn't believe working too hard on equations and stuff. so we used a calculator to integrate 100-4x. sigh. makes me sad.

im wondering. did the chinese people adopt the question mark. or did they develop that themselves? because it would be such a coincidence that western people and chinese people both made the ? themselves because it looks the same in both. japanese people dont use question marks, they just write a ka character at the end of the sentence. chinese people do have a ma character at the end of questions. so the question mark isn't really needed. maybe they did just copied it. but then how come all questions always go up in pitch at the end of the sentence. that is weird. questions to ponder.

they make such weird toothbrushes these days. like colgate 360. or whatever. it has circles and everything. and the other side has a tongue brush or something. i think its pretty weird. why dont they just sell industrial strength dentist toothbrushes or something. i think we can figure out how to use those.

why do books always have the harder questions on the even problems, but only give answers to the odd problems. if i want to attempt a hard problem, i need to know if i got it right! wowowow.

the more chemistry i learn, the more i feel that all of these models are very false. it seems like everything is made up. and its always corrected to fit. like any equation in chem with constants. its always temperature dependent. which means its not really a constant. so it always changes. and that just changes the equation. and delta S is also temperature dependent. so thats a problem too. molecular bonding models are always weird. like that hybridization. it explains one thing. so then MO's are made. and then that explains something else. and nothing fits! wowowowo. chem is lame.

just kidding. tomorrow is chinese new year. oh well. it was still a good day.

home is fun. it is alright. today is chinese news year. and i am now 20 years old. in chinese years! yayayay. i am so old. harharharhar. whatever. three day weekend. chemistry needs studying. i dont like school. but i like living at school. i just dont want to go to school. it is boring and miserable. miserable. miserable. mizerable. i think that is a gackt cd or something. miserable with a z. good day.

roommate and i drink too much water. run out really quickly. it is almost chinese new year. i can go home and study. because theres a test the wednesday after. i'm glad i dropped AXE (that frat. but i dont really know if i should write AXE or AXS, since its a sigma. oh well.) because yesterday, the pledges were supposed to tag two of the rocks around the school. and another frat came along and wanted to tag also. so they got into arguments. and then police came and wrote them all up. so yayayay. im happy im gone from that nonsense. i cant remember anything from the pac sem readings. i can remember stuff from chemistry and biology reading. and i dont read for physics. i haven't really opened that book yet.

i really dislike non-science/math-ish classes. (except microeconomics) because there's so much grey! in pac sem, all that happens is arguments. its a religion and politics thing. so its like double the arguments. and a lot of it is history. and history isn't really fact either. because history is just interpretation. so that gets argued too. annoying annoying! why cant things in life be more defined!? or maybe its just because i dont like discussion classes. and i just want to be lectured and take a test on it. it makes so much more sense. i can show i learned something. i dont learn anything in those discussion classes. because theres nothing to learn. everything is right. everything is wrong. i complain about these classes a lot. oh well. school sucks. i want to get out as fast as possible. too bad the school wont let me move to 5 years instead of 6. because of "enrollment management issues". wow whatever. useless people at school. tell me if my community college classes can count for general ed credits here, please. then i can take less of those stupid classes and complain less. and be more satisfied with lame classes of memorizing nonsense stuff about bacteria or something lame like that. let me get a degree in biology please. stupid 3+3 years pharm thing. scheduled general biology for 2nd year. too bad thats impossible to get a degree in bio if i only have 1 year after to take like 10 other higher biology classes. and even more impossible if like 8 of them need microbio also. wowowoww. so i took some general bio this semester. and now bio department was like lololooll if you tell the pharmacy advisor, shes going to get pissy and yell at me. wowowowow i hate school.

anyways. my phone is really cool. because i just realized the ring tone i had it on was the same ringtone in the beginning of S.H.E's "Ring Ring Ring". thats all.

dropped. i feel much better.

frats are really lame things. i got a bid for alpha chi sigma. so i was whatever and pledged. and now i have to do all these things. and i cant talk about it or something because they are secrets or whatever. and some people are really into this stuff. like omgomgomg i need to get cotton balls and plastic boxes to hold my egg! ozmgomgomogmg. they make it seem like if you dont pledge, you'll never have friends. i dont really care about the people. and i dont want to get to know them very well. its not like we're going to talk to each other after like 2 years. since everyone goes off to whatever anyways. annoying. its not like it benefits me anyways. its like a cult too! swearing about something about secrets. and making it seem so friendly so it can trap us. and then we cant leave. because we'll feel bad! exactly how a cult works! oh yes. i dont want to learn greek letters. we live in america. we use english letters.

i just went to the library and checked out 5 books about suicide. the library worker girl looked at me weird. but its for an essay! i promise!

weekend. "if you dont know instantly that cos90 is 0, then you can consider yourself severely handicapped." my physics professor. hes a rofl guy.

rain. good days for studying. not really. no time for updates! grades are so important. facultative anaerobes are nice creatures. drinking water is good. doing laundry is also fun. CONCENTRATE! cupcakes are good too. if soohoo is a stalker, he will read this. good music discovered recently: veltpunch, avengers of sci-fi. and new kaela kimura album is <3. so good. cant wait for shiina ringo.

i wish i could ferment. then i could hold my breath and all my cells would make alcohols! and then i could get drunk whenever i want! yayayay. and die of suffocation and alcohol poisoning at the same time. too bad we're all lame and the only thing we can ferment is lactic acid.

DAMNIT WOWOWOWOW. i double checked my physics test today. and then i changed it to the wrong answer. because it was multiple choice! i hate this world.

too many biology words start with G! arhghaghhg.

bio test friday. physics test tomorrow. i am studying for bio. mesophyll, chloroplast, grana, thylakoid. electron chains and lots of proteins. great stuff. physics is just f=ma. x=x0+vt+1/2at^2. plus we get a whole page of notes for physics test. wowowow. amazing! oh well. im writing in my book. biology one. not physics. physics book will never be opened. i'm doomed.

whenever i check my work, i always find some errors. but thats only if its free-response math-y type questions. if its multiple choice or single fill-in, then i always change my answer and get it wrong. i hate checking work. it is annoying. just like life.

Résumé
-Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you, Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give,
Gas smells awful. You might as well live.


interesting because this poet attempted suicide many times. and ultimately rejected suicide.

rofl, dir en grey's bonus disc. unplugged versions of three songs. its pretty funny. acoustic metal songs. and piano. so weird.

so last night, i went to some frat party. it was an interesting experience. i probably wont do that again. its annoying because my glasses fogged up. so hot and steamy. and yea. only walked in for 30 minutes. harhar.

sometimes i think pharmacy is a retarded major. its incredibly hard. its basically the same as a medical. except we end up having an overpaid clerk job. its stupid. a machine could dispense pills also. and people can say that the pharmacist have to counsel the patient and teach them how to take pills and make sure this doesn't interfere with other pills. thats stupid too! it doesn't really happen anyways. and a computer could do that also! its just because the entire medical field is technologically challenged and still dont use computers. and so pharmacists still exist and doctors still write prescriptions and people die because pharmacists cant read. so that pharmacist job working at rite aid or longs is stupid. the other option is like research or some other junk. but might as well just be a real doctor if we're going to be like that. i think its weird that all the pharm students here dont seem like they have so much ambition. they just want to work at retail chains. and count pills. i want to switch majors. but theres nothing to switch to. all i have is a bunch of science classes. the only other possibilities is like. med or dent. maybe ill just go take the mcat and dat for fun. and if i do well, ill change. since all the other requirements are the same. lolololol. thats retarded.

anyways. dir en grey's new album was leaked. and i heard it. its pretty depressing. makes me want to kill myself. and stab my ears. especially when kyo makes those weird sounds. like he's drowning in his own blood or something. all those angry songs are so messy. gross gross. the other emo songs are good though. and the cover for this album is pretty cool. it just looks like a black piece of paper. with some dark gray parts from printer inconsistency or something.

officially, i hate all labs now. chem, bio, and physics. finally had the first day of physics lab. and it sucks. theres a person in my group thats really proud that she failed last semester and dropped. because now she has all the labs! lololol. too bad it still took 2 hours for these labs. sigh. lab sucks. i hate working with people.