omgomg losing so much readership/viewership on this website! so exciting. used to get 100+ and suddenly this month has been dropping pretty bad! so exciting. i even hit 60 on one of the days. who are all these random people that are reading this nonsense. 2500+ hits this month. that's what i used to get a year, and half of that would have been myself. now it's all these random people. go away. i want to go back to those old times. life was better then. i've sold out. i don't do anything entertaining and everyone visits. used to work so hard! and i got no one. it's like leaving indie and going mainstream. too bad i don't care anymore. but i do.

i can barely write enough. because they are all lies.

the sky is nice. no one feels grateful for it being there, but it is still stays.

maybe because it can't leave.

do chinese people listen with their mouth now!? it's amazing! listen used to be 聽, which has ear (耳) somewhere in there. but now, listen is 听. 口 is mouth, so i am completely confused. kill off more meaning please. or evolve less dramatically. it makes it so hard to eat.

boris is going to be in san francisco on august 2nd! which is cool. i'm free on that day. so i want to go. but then, boris is going to be playing with two other bands. and they don't sound so great, just angry yell yell yell doom stoner sludge metal rock. whatever genre. i just want to see boris. so i guess i could go late, but then, i would lose the front! i want to see them up close! sigh. decisions. and i don't know enough boris songs. especially because they release two different albums, but they name them the same and have the same cover and everything. it's hard to hear all their music. too many things are named the same thing.

my room gets hot when i sleep, so i leave the window open. i also lock the door with all the locks. all three. it seems like a real waste of effort. anyone could just enter through my window. doesn't make any scary people go away.

i remember my middle school pe locker combination better than my college chemistry locker combination. weird.

people who can't focus on the work that are in front of them shouldn't try and talk so big. too bad the work in front never ends. always have to talk small then, i guess. never ever.

only 8 more posts until this post counter reaches 2000. which means 2000 posts. that is not really including all those that were from blogs that were copied over here. like from blurty and greymatter. those are like one post for each month. so they dont count. i'm really over 2000 posts, but soon it will really be over 2000 based on blogger. which is quite the amazing. i think. but i don't really think i will get there soon. if i blogged as much as i did when i started, i would be done in 4 days. but now it seems like it will take maybe 2 weeks. because i keep forgetting i have a blog. there is much busy time in life, i guess. what? that doesn't make any grammatical sense. too bad. but yea, neglect. it does bad things. like what i do to my tamogachis. however it is spelled. tamagotchi. apparently. but yea, mine always died. because mom didn't let me bring it to school like everyone else. everyone else was failing school and battling their digimon tamagotchis and i was coming home everyday to quickly clean up pikachu's feces and then play with it for two seconds before homework. now everyone is...

i could have wrote all these thoughts in a couple of posts. too bad i have this stream of consciousness stuff that makes everything blend together into one long thing. and then it makes my posts long and boring and the count low. maybe it makes things meaningful. but it is quantity, not quality. i like my 5 word posts. they are the most deepest (bad grammar again) stuff ever. i need to sleep.

anyways, everyone's tamagotchis were better than mine. they had the bear that shot hearts. it came from the slug that shot feces. i think. neglect then love. or something. why do i still remember this? i miss elementary school.

now i am stuck in college with applications to write. and secondary essays to write for medical school. oh, i have never written here my plans. because i am so secretive and conniving (is that even proper usage). apparently i am applying to medical school. i don't like pharmacy, so i am going to medical school. hopefully. if i can get in. i took the mcat on january 26, 2008. it was the most exciting experience of my life. they patted me down and told me my signature on my drivers license was what i had to sign everything in. too bad my drivers license was when i was 16 and i changed my signature since then. anyways, medical school is hard stuff. apparently they like research and volunteer and helping the underserved and minorities and shadowing and all that other great stuff. too bad i have nothing. i am pretty much useless in all that. hopefully i can get in. then i don't have to do pharmacy. too bad i don't really want to do it that much either. if only i stayed engineering, then life would be much easier. sigh! oh well. i guess i can't start over. if i did. i would be 27 or something with a bachelors in engineering. and then that can't get me any job. need at least a masters or phd. then i would be 30, and by then, there are young engineers that can easily destroy me. i guess this is best? probably not. makes me hate everyday i live.

not really. sometimes it is enjoyable. only when things work out, i guess. research is fun if the reaction goes. if it doesn't, then it is a drag and irritates and i don't want to do it anymore. life should be more like that. when things don't turn out the way i want it to, it makes me annoyed and i don't want to do anything anymore. maybe i have mental issues. they say that one out of four have mental issues. and then they say that go think of your 3 best friends. if they are okay, then it is YOU! too bad that is bad statistics. it is a small sample and it isn't even random. it is like 1/5 people are asian. i wonder who in my family is asian?! omg. doesn't make any sense at all. i think i already wrote that here. it is probably still on this page, since i never write and things don't disappear as quick anymore. but whatever. it is good to emphasize bad logic. not really logic. i guess.

have a nice day. it is late and i really lost all creativity. i can't make anymore flash movies, can't make anything artistic. no more drawings and messy stuff. really liked that part of my life. it was very i dont know what word to put there. i was going to say something like happy. but whatever. makes me feel good. now it is over. all i can do is memorize stuff and use simple equation models that use little calculus. and that stuff is pretty boring. just plug and chug. nothing GREAT. no story. i can't even keep my attention span on epic, great movies. (why do people use the word epic so much now? it doesn't make any sense). i don't understand the plot and things don't make sense. all i can understand is DNA, protein, central dogma, SN2, F=ma, and PV=nRT. a little more than that. but nothing that is in silly artistic stuff anymore. maybe i am growing up. maybe i am not. this is really becoming an essay. but i don't really care. i hope no one reads this because i am venting everything that has been building up. do buildings always have to be built up? sometimes they build down. like in evangelion. apparently, i got so miserable with my life i started watching anime. but they have a building that's underground. did they build up? no. i think they built down.

but i think this is really the end. i have sold my life. if it doesn't work out, like it never does, then i really don't know what i can do. i'll probably just kill myself.

but i'm too afraid too. oops. it should be a to for the second one.

double o's are great. looks like oo. eyeballs.

being alone is so lonely.

what does a carpet have to do with a car or a pet? it's not a car. it is not a pet. you can have carpet in your car. and pets always shed hair on carpets. is that the explanation?

some people are like omgomgomg we never meet anymore. but it is all talk. no one really wants to see each other. complain that i can't go to a graduation. so i call on graduation and say 'good job'. my reply is 'who is this?' thanks a lot. like you really wanted me to go to your graduation. take me off your phone list. make an effort yourself. so useless.

let's finish this! fight.

i was burning something today. it was taking a long time. but at 98%, my water bottle fell over and hit the space bar. since it is nero, there is only one button that appears during burning. it is the cancel button. and since things are automatically selected, only one button could be selected. so it died. at 98%. makes me sad.

taxonomy is so logical! pandas that mostly eat bamboo and other plants are in the order of carnivora! yeayea! so great. too bad pandas dont have good digestive systems to eat grass. they should just die off.

i dont like how the word biological has the word logical in it.



boreal means "northern". boreal and tundra are supposed to be northern biomes. according to previous lectures. but they still have bars for them. maybe it is signifying zero. but it is still a waste of space.

i had a water balloon fight with lab people and other lab people. i made a large water balloon with a glove. too bad i really suck. and it slipped out of my hand. it is the strong cohesive forces pulling it together. roll off. then i made another one and i missed. then i made another one and i missed again. then i made another one and it ripped apart in my hand. water does not like me.

No medicine exists to cure idiots.

everyday i wake up and i wonder how i got in this situation. what am i doing here? how did this all happen? it is like when all the tetris pieces missed by accident and now every row has one blank that is not even lined up. everything is a mess. can't even get out of this mess. well, i guess it is possible. but by then, so many single lines have been used up, that the tetris pieces now fall so fast, so it is game over anyways. so i guess it is useless to try to fix this situation. maybe a restart.

i'm so depressed that i'm eating ice cream and listening to chthonic. actually that second part was not my choice. it just came on from shuffle. i was originally just going to write i am so depressed that i'm eating ice cream. but yea. that is depressing too. and my ice cream spoon fell out! onto my arm. omg. now it's going to get sticky. sigh! increase stickness. the heat is causing the ice cream to work against me, too! used to be just make me sticky by sweat. now its melting ice cream to cause spoons to fall out and ice cream me. sigh.

finally saw this movie. i've been meaning to watch it since it was released in 2005. too bad ayumi hamasaki songs are boring. and usually these ninja movies aren't that great. and yea. it still stays the same in 2008. basically two clans are like lolol hate each other. suddenly some guy is like lol fight please. so they kill each other off. too bad the leaders of both clans are in love or something. they meet in the first 2 minutes of the movie and that is about how developed their relationship is. mostly action and pretty colors and lots of pretty death. but yea. it was okay. and i finally understand the subtitle of "heart under blade". because shinobi is 忍, which has the bottom part is heart 心, and the top is blade/knife 刀! too bad there is still one dot left. maybe it is an unclean blade. but the movie wasn't so bloody. eh. nakama yukie popped her eyes out too! i finally know where all those pictures of her with bloody eyeballs come from now.

or maybe they just wash the floor a lot. and the streets. and dusty roads.

i wonder how often japanese people have to wash their hands and pants. they always kneel down and beg and do all that stuff. always, when asking for something. at least in dramas...

so apparently this classmate from middle school is on that show "so you think you can dance." top 20 too. or something. katee shean. she wrote something in my yearbook too! (yay. i can sell it and make money!) it's pretty weird meeting someone and then seeing them famous later. i remember she said she'll be a professional dancer in the future. i thought "oh, okay". but apparently she wins. i wish i worked so hard in something.

wow i have the same birthday as tomosaka rie! that is cool. except she is 9 years older than me. don't really care about her. she sang a few songs that shiina ringo. that is all about i know about her. but yay. same birthday.

biology is the best science ever. adding fertilizers increase growth of plants! amazing stuff, really.

i bought an $8 bootleg dvd of some japanese drama because it said it had english subtitles. i thought it was weird because usually japanese dramas have chinese subtitles only, at best. the english subs are fansubs, which aren't sold. and i would have known it and downloaded fansubs instead. so i was like hm. so i watched it. there was a guy on a boat. and he felt seasick. and then he was like "i need to spit!" and he was freaking out. and i was confused because it was pretty dramatic for spitting. then i realized that the bootleggers probably just ran the chinese subs through babelfish or whatever. since the chinese 吐, for vomit can also be spit. lols. so creative.

i dont like this.

went to get a transcript at san jose city college. because three weeks ago, i requested one and it hasn't been recieved. so i had to rush this one. she printed it out and asked if i wanted to check. i was like okay. i saw there was only two classes, i've taken at least 6 classes. so i was like wtf. then i realized, she handed me someone elses transcript and she was about the seal it in the envelope. wow, this is why it doesn't get sent. so shes like lol sorry and gets me another one. theres three pages. my transcript shouldn't be so long. first page is my name. the next two pages are someone elses again. wow great. i check the envelope she prints out and "application" is spelled wrong. thanks a lot san jose city college. tax money.

i could replace my cell phone with an alarm clock and i wouldn't notice. except maybe the alarm has a different sound. because they do about the same thing. i'm such a loser.

i suddenly have an urge to watch evangelion. even though i dislike anime. really don't care for it. it's really an illogical conclusion i have in my head, since the one anime that i watched, i really liked. (cowboy bebop). don't really know why i don't like anime. i did start watching bleach, and that bored me really bad. huh, bored is a verb and an adjective? weird. anyways. i think it is because i'm afraid of becoming some crazy otaku that goes to anime conventions and dresses up as a character and then spends a lot of money on nonsense. i don't like anime obsessed people that think japan's culture is completely anime (even though it is probably true). but its weird.

i really need to get around to killing off this site. maybe i won't renew it again. that will be an easy death. i used to like people (especially random people) commenting/complimented/giving_feedback_on_ways_to_improve on whatever stuff i have here and all that. made me feel like i really accomplished something. but now it's completely the opposite. now when people are like "wowow you have talent," all i can say is "too bad, i'm dating chemistry and biology, and it's been so long i can't leave." well, it makes sense to not go into anything art related, because i would become stupid, poor, and basically useless. i don't know. it made more sense in my head. i just don't like it when people comment, because it is long time ago. and i am in a different era now.

and do you really need to have a whole class that basically says there's more competition when there's a higher density?! anyone could figure that out.

biology is the worst science ever. doesn't follow any mathmatical rules at all. graph everything, every number. doesn't matter what units. compare celsius to millimeters of rain. then take the logarithm of something with units. and compare that. it always has a slope of -3/2, but really, no units. so just change the units to make it that slope. what a dumbass science.

Supercar - Warning Bell

In a moment I hid the warning bell, as far as dreams on a thousand rails
In a moment I hid the warning bell, on rails to run away on
In a moment I hid the warning bell, the bell to run away
In a moment I hid the warning bell, to run away