it's weird how things get connected. i went on a trip with my family and there was a lot of driving, so i listened to the radio. (which is something i don't usually do.) anyways, i was surprised how many old songs they play. it's like middle school and high school days. so many memories. so i come home and download some of those songs. then i delete them.

faye wong was the soundtrack of my dream last night.

it's hard to update an internet journal without an internet. but i have internet. so i am just not updating because i am.

anyways, i had a dream that my dream was destroyed. it was sad. maybe it will come true. that would be sadder. have a nice day. i'm also having dreams of people from high school and of people i've never met. and people that i know are one person but have characteristics of other people. it's like my mind is melting and everyone is becoming one.

is being healthy a placebo? need to do experiment. but how to define the control group?

so, i watched avatar. in 3d. it is pretty cool. the 3d stuff. the story is kind of eh. it's basically pocahontas with invading white people trying to get resources (which i just realized is named unobtainium, rofl) and the uncivilized alien na'vi blue people. but it's in the future and in space. so there's science now! so they can send people in as avatars which they link with some genetically modified na'vi / human. and the human controls them. reminds me of evangelion. anyway, some things were odd. seems like all visions of the future include some two-legged armored "vehicle" mech things. why would we do that? balance is so hard to make! especially on two legs. why why why!? just because it walks like a human doesn't mean it is technologically advanced. also, why would they project computer screens on to glass? you can't see the screen clearly, because... well. it's clear. ironic, but yea. and they made the attack helicopters of the future have two propeller things, which means there's a double chance of failure and two times the target as before. and the huge flying battleships die because of a grenade to one engine? that's a little silly.

oh. the phd super smart arrogant scientist girl was pipetting wrong! she sucked up the solution and then she held it upside down, so all the solution would fall into the pipette and damage everything! wowow! 300 million dollar movie and they can't get this right!

and i like how all the savage uncivilized alien people are all drawn like black people, and they have rituals similar to them. hm.

regardless, it is an okay movie. the 3d glasses was a nice experience.

i had a dream, i was in some english class. i thought it was supposed to be easy, then i failed the exam due to lack of preparation. then i realized, i was back in high school english class. well, i guess those were the last english classes i really had. then i was suffering. yay for remembering tiny details that i still don't understand why we have to learn.

it's interesting that this society that really emphasizes individualism and being unique categorizes the odd ones with a personality disorder.

i think it's interesting that numbers all ended up in base 10 independently. (i think there's a few nations that independently invented numbers? probably greek, chinese, arabs, romans. those nations.) well, it makes sense, there's 10 fingers, so that would be one of the most logical things to follow. but what if one of those mathematicians had polydactyly and one part of the world was running on base 11. or if one of them just chose something completely random. it's happened before! just look at fahrenheit. chose 0 degrees to be some frigorific mixture of brine, 32 to be freezing point of water, and 96 as water in mouth or armpit. so, yea. something completely arbitrary could have been chosen. i guess we're lucky we don't have to convert between numbers. that would suck.

i was tired yesterday.
i am tired again today.
does that make me retired?
it's a chronic condition.
can i collect my retirement fund?

so last night, my parents and i watched red cliff. both of the movies. its based on the battle of red cliffs in romance of the three kingdoms, which is based the battle of red cliffs in history. anyway, i dont think it was intentional, but this movie was hilarious. everyone said and did a bunch of stupid things. i guess since they got a super all-star cast, they had to make sure everyone had a lot of screentime. seriously, have zhuge liang (played by wowow takeshi kaneshiro) help a pregnant horse give birth!? he's supposed to be one of the smartest guys in chinese history and he's delivering babies. and not even human babies. and zhuge liang has a trademark fan, and in this movie zhou yu asks him "you still use a fan on such a cold day?", to which he replies "its a habit." lol. no wonder they cut the western release to half the length.

also, this movie was so inaccurate that it was hilarious. cao cao decided to take over all of china because he wanted zhou yu's wife!?, who is played by taiwan's "most beautiful" lin chi-ling. (she can't act either, only have sex scenes with tony leung.) the second movie was basically all wrong when compared to romance of the three kingdoms and history. lots of made up characters, lots of characters not appearing. oh well. and japanese actors? that's weird. and a lot of important characters were given less importance, while zhou yu became the center of the story. (makes sense, its tony leung). but zhou yu wasn't a very good guy. he was filled with jealousy and hate for zhuge liang, but they didn't show any of it. neh.

battle scenes were special effects galore, and i guess they were well done. some battle strategies were cool, like the turtle thing (reminded me of tower defense in warcraft 3). and i like how cao cao sent his diseased dead people over to the enemy to start an epidemic (which is wrong also). this movie must be some secret chinese plan to completely rewrite history.

oh well, i kind of want to read romance of the three kingdoms now. too bad its 120 chapters and like a million pages and in the wrong language.

hello. i am drinking juice. it is very sweet. i am going to get diabetes and die. that would not be good. the end.

what blunt words. yet they cut so deep. that's weird. blunt things usually can't penetrate very deeply or even make a cut. only words. words are funny. they aren't even physical. but i guess they don't make physical cuts either. must be backwards land in the land of the unphysical. but "blunt" is a word, which means it is backwards with itself in the unphysical land of words. huh, i'm confusing myself. but i think that part made sense. but then "physical" is a word and the unphysical world would be backwards so that would be physical. and then that doesn't make sense. my theory fails. the end.

i watched monrak transistor. it is by pen-ek ratanaruang. it's the best thai film i have seen (easy to win, because i've only seen like 7, but still a very good movie). the cover makes it look really lame, but it is a really well made movie. it's about some guy that wants to be a singer and a girl. guy likes girl. some comedy stuff and they get married. seems to be a perfect romance movie. narrator says "the movie could end here and you'd be heading for exits with a happy ending. but there is more to this sad tale." so then he gets conscripted and he's in the army. then he wins some singing contest only to be a janitor for the music company. then he accidentally kills a producer. then he runs around doing some temp jobs. then he pisses off his boss and runs away. then lots of unlucky things and he's in jail. funny movie. yay for pen-ek movies. 4/7 thai movies i've seen are his. lolol. oh well

goals, it would be nice to achieve them.
dreams, it's nice to have them as goals.
life, it's nice to have dreams.
sleep, it is very refreshing.
shaving, it would be nice to not cut self.
time, it would be nice to accomplish more.
mice, they squeak.
ziprasidone, it's good for schizophrenia.
schizophrenia, it's not a good condition.
condition, the human condition.
what is it?

it is cold. apparently it snowed in the morning. but i didn't get to see it. i woke up too late. snow became rain.

use lead based paint! it protects you from radiation!
the toxic plastic is just antimicrobial!

imaginary post office scenario in my head (well, i guess that is redundant. where else can imagination be from?):

customer: i would like to ship this by media mail.
worker: would you like insurance?
customer: why would i want insurance?
worker: just in case the mail is lost and isn't delivered.
customer: isn't it your job to deliver it? why would you lose mail? do you purposely lose some mail so that you can have this service? i don't want your stupid insurance. you should just do your job correctly and deliver my mail.
worker: uh, okay. sorry.
customer: sorry, bad day.
worker: oh. what happened?
customer: insurance won't pay for my cancer chemotherapy.

i was taking a shower. and thinking of buying textbooks for next semester. thinking how i didn't use a lot of the books this semester. how i have to sell them. and selling them would require going to the post office.

given:
time is fast when life is enjoyable.
time is slow when life is miserable.

goal:
i want to live a long life.
i want to live a happy life.

i guess i have to do analysis for maximization.

maybe could just change the assumptions.
or change the goal.

huh.

today i was walking to my final and i saw these clouds. they look like a dna triplex. there's a double helix for most of it and then there's suddenly a third strand trying to invade in. probably some scientist decided to stick in some oligonucleotides to inhibit the dna activity at that site. hopefully it worked. about 45 minutes later, the clouds were gone.